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We've got rhythm ... not!

Page 2

We heard Shaq rapping. We saw more than a half-million Angelenos swaying their arms in celebration on a glorious Southern California day. But all we really noticed was Lakers rookie forward Mark Madsen's dance routine.

Caught up in the euphoria of L.A.'s victory party Monday, Madsen let loose with the worst dancing seen on national television since Elaine Benes of "Seinfeld" cut a rug at a company party in an October 1996 episode entitled "The Little Kicks."

So, which dance routine was worse, Madsen or Benes? Page 2 compares the rhythm-impaired:

  Elaine BenesElaine Benes Mark MadsenMark Madsen
Hometown New York City Danville, Calif.
Employer J. Peterman catalog division Los Angeles Lakers
Nickname "Lainie" or "Baby Doll" "Mad Dog"
IQ She claims it's 145, but her test scores ranged from 85 to 151 High enough to attend Stanford
Claims to fame Says she had sex with Jerry 37 times when they were dating Won NBA title as a rookie. Two-time All-American played in 1998 Final Four as sophomore
Last seen dancing On a "pirated" video tape making the rounds on New York street corners In front of an estimated 550,000 at Lakers' victory parade in downtown L.A.
Rhythm None Even less
Best dance move Obnoxious leg kick while one hand flails in the other direction and flashes the thumbs-up sign Alternating strokes with arms while appearing to swim downward in a never-ending pool
Dance reminds us of ... The funky chicken gone wrong Exuberant high school freshmen at the prom
Future performances Hardly heard from, except for syndication, since Seinfeld went off the air in 1998 Every June until Shaq and Kobe retire

Kevin Jackson is the editor of Page 2.

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 Yeah, Shaq's rapping, but check out Mark Madsen's dance moves
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