ESPN.com - Page2 - Try something different<br> for the holidays

Try something different
for the holidays
By Darren Rovell
ESPN.com

ESPN.com's business writer Darren Rovell finally stopped torturing the people who sit closest to him with all of his cool holiday finds and went after some of ESPN's anchors.

Reggie's (White) Cheesehead Fragrance, $5
www.cheesehead.com

Foamation, the creators of the Cheesehead, bring you this gem for the holidays. Unfortunately, it actually doesn't smell like cheese and is wearable. "It sort of smells like soap," said one saleswoman. But if you truly want to wash yourself in Green Bay style you might as well also purchase an Extreme Cheesehead Soap on a Rope -- a "whey to stay squeaky clean."

Trey Wingo's take: First of all, isn't there a marketing issue here? Reggie White is no longer a cheesehead, he's a Panther. Secondly, is it really a good idea for anyone to associate a sense of smell with a dairy product that isn't refrigerated? And lastly, and most importantly, the hard sell line has GOT to change. It reads: "for only five bucks you can smell like a Hall of Famer!" You can tell that whoever wrote this has never been in a locker room. The "smell" of a Hall of Famer is about his least admirable quality. If you want that, run 5 miles, then take your socks and leave them out in 90 degree heat for 3 days, then rub them all over your body. That won't cost you five bucks, either.

Tom Emansky Defensive Drills Video
(Find out the price by watching SportsCenter)
If you watch Sportscenter, you should be ashamed if you don't have one of these. OK, so maybe you change channels during the break -- when the commercial airs with a young Fred McGriff's endorsement. But you've definitely heard Kenny Mayne when he utters his line "obviously he was not watching the Tom Emansky Defensive Drills video." So if you don't want to make errors and you just want to see the commerical run, please support Tom.

Kenny Mayne's Take: "Beer ads and Emansky. That's pretty much how we're making money hand over fist here at ESPN. I was just trying to help with client relations by making reference to the Defensive Drills Video. It works both for a good play or an error. Or maybe it doesn't work at all. But it's fun to yell "it's endorsed by Fred McGriff" every so often. Fred must be rich."

Rawlings earned run backpack, $350.00
www.gifts.com

People will tell you that you are what you wear. So if you wear this Rawlings Earned Run backpack-made out of real glove material -- you must be a baseball fan! Unfortunately, the backpack has no facsimile autographs of your favorite star such as Jim Rice or Lance Parrish.

Dave Revsine's take: I think we can all agree, it's a good-looking piece of leather. The only problem is, who's going to buy it? The only people I've ever seen with leather backpacks are women, and, frankly, I find it hard to believe any woman is going to be walking down Rodeo Drive wearing a backpack with the word "Rawlings" on it. Curious whether the pouches incorporate the "ed-u-cat-ed heel" technology.

Singing fish, $12.88
www.walmart.com

You thought there was only the Big Mouth Billy Bass? Well, now there's Travis the Singing Trout and Cool Catfish. "The coolest, baddest cat on dry land, Cool Catfish will entertain your friends for hours," reads the description. Well, your friends must be pretty lonely as Cool only sings one song and recites twenty phrases.

Jason Jackson's take: "Truth be known, without the folks at ESPN Radio, our fishy friends Travis and Cool would be in line for government fish food this holiday season. Billy, the Big Mouth Bass, was the man (or the fish), but I'm told ESPN Radio's Tony Kornheiser took him out. My GameDay co-host, Jack Arute, had Billy hanging above his desk spreading the joy of song, but Mr. Tony took him out. Survival of the fittest my friends. All is fair in love and singing bass."

Personalized Louisville Slugger Bat Walking Cane, $51
www.louisvilleslugger.com

If one of your loved ones needs a little walking assistance, why not give him his very own personalized Louisville Slugger walking cane. It comes with an extra handle and a rubber stopper on the bottom to provide some traction. This gift's motto is: "Don't just own a Louisville Slugger, use it every day."

John Anderson's take: "What is this, Ty Cobb goes crafty? Perfect for the curve ball challenged, the .200 hitter or the 150 strikeout guy -- your bat put to GOOD use. And I want to personalize it why? Because someone might steal my Louisville Slugger Walking Cane and I might need to prove ownership. Bottom line -- Babe Ruth autographed kindling."

Sumo fan, $10.00
www.giftmania.com

Didn't you always want a sumo holding a fan for you? Well, here it is. Described on one site as "seven inches of wind totin' power," this guy "comes in plastic pouch for easy toting to sushi picnics, business meetings and to the beach."

Linda Cohn's take: "Have we reached the depths of despair? The lowest of lows? The cellars of sick? The underground of the undesirable? All right, enough. Please, whatever you do, don't send me the SUMO fan for Hanukah, Christmas or ever. In fact, don't send it to any of my loved ones either. I can think of plenty of other options for somebody, including me, to keep cool, and a SUMO fan, isn't it. Now if it was the Matt Damon fan, that would be different."

If you have a gift idea that is more stupid that what Darren has come up with, please e-mail him at darren.rovell@espn.com, so that he can buy the right gift for his mother.



	By the fire For someone who likes to curl up with a good book Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful So it's time for someone to stay inside and play games Stocking Stuffers Small enough to go in a sock, yet special enough to hang round All Dressed Up What everyone's wearing on this year's sideline Gadget Greetings Cool technical stuff for you to use The Next Generation For the little athlete in your life Ready to party Get out the barbecue sauce and bring on the dip For the person with everything They're impossible to buy for, so here are a few suggestions Deck the Halls Posters, calendars or prints decorate all year long Away for the holidays Buy a trip to sports biggest events