Whether it's bantering with your office-mates about the weekly pool, swapping the skinny with your friends at the sports bar or trying to impress that hottie on your first date, spouting last season's conventional wisdom about the new NFL season is going to make you as popular as Akili Smith.

So check out the "What's Hot, What's Not" List below for the scoop on the names, trends and fads that are at the forefront of Kickoff Weekend and the 2003 season. We promise: That first-date hottie really wants to know:

WHAT'S HOT, WHAT'S NOT IN THE NFL
Category	Hot	Not Hot
Kickoff Weekend star	Britney Spears	Steve Spurrier
Football on TV	"Playmakers"	"Hard Knocks"
Cover jinx	Madden	SI
Barstool debate	Can the Bucs repeat?	Rather have healthy Lewis or healthy Vick?
Rookie bandwagon	Kyle Boller (Ravens)	Carson Palmer (Bengals)
Whatever happened to ...	Joey Galloway?	Antonio Freeman?
QB necessity	Depth	MVP skills
Season-crushing injury	Chad Pennington (Jets QB)	James Stewart (Lions RB)
Jersey	Kelly Holcomb	Brian Urlacher
Baby name	LaDainian	Priest
Water-cooler stat	Yards-per-catch allowed	Yards-per-catch
Position	Defensive end	Tight end
MVP bandwagon	Ricky Williams	Michael Vick
Coaching mastermind	Jon Gruden	Mike Holmgren
Style statement	Extra-wide headbands	Helmet visors
Fantasy 1st Rd sleeper	William Green	Tiki Barber
Philly Stadium complaint	Fans still stink	Turf stinks
Reason to skip camp	Fear of Romo	Fear of injury
Sideline presence	Lisa Guerrero	All-access cams
Complaint in Cleveland	Courtney Brown's health	Worrying about Tim Couch
Mike Shanahan's biggest problem	Jake Plummer will wash out	What to do with all the RBs
Detroit fan favorite	Joey Harrington	Matt Millen
Next Ryan Leaf	Chris Redman (Ravens)	Jon Kitna (Bengals)
Conventional wisdom	Coaches win championships	Players win championships
QB controversy	Rams (Warner vs. Bulger)	Jags (Anyone better than Brunell)
Comeback	Vinny Testaverde	Rodney Peete
Overhyped Giant	Jeremy Shockey	Whoever's snapping
Power Division	NFC South	NFC East

PAGE 2 PICKS
Category	Hot	Not
NFC East	Eagles	Giants
NFC South	Bucs	Saints
NFC North	Packers	Bears
NFC West	Rams	49ers
NFC Wild Card	Falcons, Redskins	Seahawks, Vikings
AFC East	Patriots	Jets
AFC South	Colts	Jaguars
AFC North	Browns	Steelers
AFC West	Chiefs	Raiders
AFC Wild Card	Ravens, Dolphins	Bills, Broncos
Super Bowl champs	Bucs over Patriots	Dolphins over Falcons

Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. His "Daily Quickie" commentary appears every weekday morning.