Fast and furious
By Hunter S. Thompson
Page 2 columnist

Monday was another bad night for watching football. We had rain, violence, fraud and scenes of miserable failure. If I had to pick a Super Bowl winner right now, it would have to be Kansas City. The Chiefs have that smart, speedy kind of confidence that has always been the mark of Dick Vermeil's best teams.

Now he has the Chiefs, looking big and fast and cool. If it is true that speed kills, then Kansas City will win the whole thing. Priest Holmes will kill you all by himself. He follows his blockers better than any running back in the League, and Dante Hall is so quick that he barely needs blockers.

Priest Holmes
With Priest Holmes leading the charge, the Chiefs could be headed to the Super Bowl.
Even a re-tread like quarterback Trent Green can look great in Vermeil's 'Gotcha!' offense, which is way too smart to be a failure in this Here-today-Gone-tomorrow, free-agent league where nobody hangs around long enough to become a legend. My wicked old friend Max McGee wouldn't last three weeks in the NFL today. He didn't have enough respect for the Rules.


And so much for that, eh? The time has come to move beyond simple football predictions. What the hell? Let's try Baseball. That looks easy. So why not predict that the musty Chicago Cubs will win the World Series this year? They are long overdue, and the times are right for it.

George W. Bush is a baseball man, so I wonder about who he'll chose to win the Series this year, if only to know who to stay away from.

I have never had much faith in our embattled child President's decision-making powers. He comes from a long line of Losers ... I know that is not what you want to hear/read at this time, especially if you happen to be serving in the doomsday mess that is currently the U.S. Army.

I take no pleasure in being Right in my dark predictions about the fate of our military intervention in the heart of the Muslim world. It is immensely depressing to me. Nobody likes to be betting against the Home team, no matter how hopeless they are.

I have done that, from time to time, and it never fails to leave me feeling guilty and confused, even if I win. Winning is vitally important in the gambling business, but it is better not to publicize your most shameful and predatory bets. How many red-blooded Americans really want to go down in history as having voted for George Bush and Military disaster in 2000?

Not me, bubba -- but I feel the pain, anyway. Any failure of this magnitude is a shared experience, like it or not. Not every passenger on the good ship Titanic voted to hit that iceberg. Of course not; it was the Captain's decision -- and the Captain went down with it, just like his father.

It is up to the rest of us to make sure this fool of a President doesn't take us all down with him ... WHACK! And that's it for realpolitik, eh? That evil crap can take all the fun out of Football.

But I have learned, in my life and work as a sportswriter, that big-time Sports and big-time Politics are not so far apart in America. They are both a means to the same end, which is Victory ... And why not? Victory is good for you, and don't let anybody tell you different.

P.S. As for the Super Bowl, let's try Kansas City and Minnesota, with the Chiefs winning narrowly. I say that because Dick Vermeil is simply the smartest coach in the NFL since the immortal Bill Walsh in San Francisco. They come and they go in this business -- but smart and fast will beat you every time. It is written.

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson was born and raised in Louisville, Ky. His books include "Hell's Angels," "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72," "The Great Shark Hunt," "The Curse of Lono," "Generation of Swine," "Songs of the Doomed," "Screwjack," "Better Than Sex," "The Proud Highway," "The Rum Diary," and "Fear and Loathing in America." His latest book, "Kingdom of Fear," has just been released. A regular contributor to various national and international publications, Thompson now lives in a fortified compound near Aspen, Colo. His column, "Hey, Rube," appears regularly on Page 2.



Hunter S. Thompson Archive

Thompson: A bad bet

Thompson: George Plimpton, uber alles

Thompson: Soured on the sweet science

Thompson: Bush league

Thompson: Speed will rule the NFL

Thompson: Nots-so-sweet dreams

Thompson: From Bush to Snyder

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