<
>

And stay away!

Here are some things most of us don't need to see in 2010 and beyond:

  • Anonymous stewards

  • Avatar II: Bluer Than Ever

  • Any sports team from Kansas City

  • Bad tips

  • A photo involving my $50 bet and a needy person's $2 bet at the next table

  • Bettors catching on to good women jockeys

  • A Double Crown series (if the Belmont goes under)

  • How-To books written by suckers who allegedly won money picking stuff that couldn't have been picked except with hindsight

  • Bettors catching on to connections who fake lameness to drop way down and grab a fat slot pot

  • Conversation at the track

  • Whining horse race track management

  • Advice

  • Nasty TV and betting machine screens

  • The BCS

  • Leno

  • Bettors catching on to big Beyer numbers in short fields being mostly meaningless

  • A Single Crown event for three-year olds (if the Belmont and Preakness go under because of a lack of slots)

  • A $3 charge at an ATM

  • Dick Vitale mentioning "student athlete" with a straight face in a one-and-done time when "video game athletes" use text books to elevate sprained ankles

  • Odds changing after the race has started, and horses are halfway around the track

  • Cheap tote giveaways

  • Bettors realizing that 10-1 at a small track pays the same as 10-1 at Churchill, with the small track 10-1 being much easier to find

  • The TV show "Dexter" after the hack writers and producers killed off one of the most viewable women ever to appear in high-def, the good homicidal maniac's wife

  • Horses being reloaded after busting through the gate

  • A horse on which I wagered heavily being whipped too early

  • More fake dirt

  • The "Hooterville-Cam," which is used in many cheap college football bowls, of which there will be 36, total, next year, with the Hooterville-Cam having the ability to blur all the empty seats during punts and passes

  • More writers on TV

  • Sermons by silly writers on TV about how horse racing is dead again – why do so many goofy writers want to be on radio or TV, a possible groupie?

  • Selections made by TV expert pickers too close to the post for a wager to be cancelled

  • Phantom calls made by NFL officials that make a person want to call the fuzz (and why are cops called the fuzz, anyway, beards on long stakeouts?)

  • A politician

  • Never before shown speed running with my 20-1 speed

  • Restroom company

  • Crooked trainers who get light penalties

  • Jon

  • Horses falling

  • Replays of horses falling

  • USC student athletes driving Bentleys

  • Favorites running third

  • Horatio Caine

  • Another hokey poker tour

  • Cheaters who don't bet

  • College basketball coaches who mug for the cameras

  • Six-year olds playing organized tackle football

  • Six-year olds playing video games

  • Best/worst lists

  • An IRS envelope

    Write to Jay at jaycronley@yahoo.com.