Dan Patrick gets his tips frosted with Brian Giles
Dan Patrick's interview with Pittsburgh Pirates outfielder Brian Giles appears in the Aug. 19 edition of ESPN The Magazine.
DP: Hey, Brian, sounds like I'm interrupting an aerobics class. What's that music?
|Brian Giles plays in relative obscurity for the lowly Pirates.|
BG: Oh, uh...
DP: Is that Cher?
BG: You caught me. I'm watching VH1, "Divas Live from Vegas" -- Cher looks good.
DP: We're off to a rocky start, man.
DP: Best tan in baseball.
BG: Me or Jason Kendall. He's started on my tanning program. In fact, we just got back from the salon. We got our tips frosted, then we went for a couple of rounds in the tanning bed.
DP: I can just picture it.
BG: Don't knock it. We have a lot of fun. Our big thing is, after they get the foil in our hair for the frost, we sit under the dryers and gab.
DP: Like old ladies?
BG: Sure. Cracks us up.
DP: What do you want to do when you retire?
BG: Either be a chef at Benihana -- cutting stuff up and flipping it around, that would be fun -- or maybe a meteorologist. I like weather. It's intriguing.
DP: Do you collect anything?
BG: When I was little I used to collect potato bugs.
DP: Potato bugs?
BG: You know, those little bugs that curl up in a ball when you pick them up? I'd keep them in a can and see how many I could collect.
DP: Tough times as a kid, huh?
BG: Yeah. I either caught potato bugs or studied. Guess that's how I became valedictorian of my high school -- boredom.
DP: What am I most likely to hear you singing in the shower?
BG: Barney's theme song.
DP: "I love you, you love me" ... that one? You're a dad, so I'll let you off the hook.
BG: I sing it to my teammates. It's a favorite, what can I say?
DP: Last time you cried.
BG: This morning. My daughter head-butted me and it hurt! But that was more of a fake cry to discipline her.
DP: Ah, the old guilt trip. Did it work?
BG: Are you kidding? She laughed.
DP: If you were reincarnated, what would you want to come back as?
BG: I don't know. I guess, a tree. Just as long as no one wanted to chop me down.
DP: Yeah, but dogs would pee on you.
BG: That's all right, I've got protective bark.
DP: You're not a deep man, are you?