Dan Patrick rides the perfect wave with Kyle Turley

UNCUT OUTTAKES: A condensed version of Dan Patrick's interview with New Orleans Saints OT Kyle Turley appears in the Sept. 30 edition of ESPN The Magazine

	If you saw what Damien Robinson tried to do to Saints QB Aaron Brooks, you can understand better Kyle Turley's actions in the infamous helmet-throwing incident.

DP: If you had to make a choice between football and surfing...
KT: Surfing, no question.
DP: There was no hesitation there.
KT: No hesitation, none.
DP: No drug tests.
KT: Nah. Surfing is just way more fun. No training camp, no practice. It's a high.
DP: The best movie made about surfing?
KT: "Big Wednesday." With that whacked guy from "Airwolf," Jan-Michael Vincent.
DP: I thought you would say "Point Break" with Keanu Reeves.
KT: Oh, come on. Maybe your pal Dibbs would say that.
DP: Any comparisons between surfing and football?
KT: Riding the perfect wave is like making the perfect block. Both make all the work worthwhile.

DP: Best hit you ever laid on someone in your NFL career.
KT: Well, I would have to say -- oh my gosh, best hit?
DP: Because I guess it would be your perfect wave.
KT: Yeah. I'm not sure what my perfect hit would be. I mean, my rookie year, before they had all these rules against lineman getting downfield and cleaning people around piles and stuff, I was crushing guys. That was a lot of fun, but nowadays you can't really get any good hits. I've had some good ones over the top, diving over the piles over the years, but I can't even do that any more. But best hits, I don't even remember who it was on or when it was, I've just had so many. I've been hit in the head too much.

DP: First tattoo?
KT: First tattoo was SDSU in an Asian-type font. When I got my scholarship [at San Diego State University], I was pretty excited about that.
DP: Best tattoo?
KT: Right now, that would probably have to be my American flag, a little September 11th American flag tattoo.
DP: You got that after 9/11 last year?
KT: Yeah.
DP: How about the worst tattoo, the one that just didn't come out right?
KT: Oh no, they all came out right ... I don't think any of them are bad at all.
DP: Any tattoo plans for the future?
KT: I need to do a back piece. I've wanted to do one for a while now.
DP: Did your mom have a problem with the first one?
KT: Oh, yeah.
DP: Did she cry?
KT: She didn't cry, but she did not approve. She did not approve.
DP: I tell people that tattoos are addicting. If you get one, you can't stop. Do you agree?
KT: I would agree ... I thought for sure I'd get just the SDSU one and that would be it, but it just kind of looked barren out there all by itself, so I had to add to it.
DP: You had to get one to keep it company?
KT: Yeah, you just see it there and it looks kind of blank, you know. It looks kind of lonely out there.

DP: What position would you play on defense?
KT: Oh, I'd be defensive end. I could probably switch right now and play it. I was supposed to be coming out of high school as the next Howie Long, that's what the scouts and everything were telling me ... but when I went to San Diego State, they switched me. So I had to be the Howie Long of the offensive line.

DP: You were an art major in college, weren't you? KT: Yeah. DP: What kind of art? KT: I just did a basic studio arts major, kind of the whole gambit. I did it all and I loved it, it was fun. I did everything from painting, sculpting to pottery work and all that.
DP: Well, did you do nudes? Did you have nudes come in that you got to paint?
KT: Yeah, I took a class -- it was a sketching class or whatever, and they had the people come in and drop the trousers and show everything, you know.
DP: Do you still have that sketch?
KT: Oh man, I might have them somewhere. My mom might have them among my junk. I don't know where that stuff is.
DP: Favorite art museum?
KT: I don't know -- the one in San Diego is pretty good. I haven't been to too many art museums, but the one in San Diego, I used to have to go to it for classes, and it was a lot of fun. It was neat.

DP: Would you have a problem if Brett Favre was your quarterback and went down, and it was you who gave up the sack to Michael Strahan?
KT: Yeah, I've been asked that one. I would have a problem with it if I was blocking the guy. ... The fact is, when you break down the film, you can see that's Brett Favre's sack. So as long as it doesn't count against me, then I guess that's between me and Michael Strahan.

DP: Any significance to your number?
KT: Nope. That was my number at State. First I was 94 because I was supposed to play defense. They switched me to offense and gave me No. 68. So that's what it's been ever since.
DP: If you could change it, would you change it?
KT: I don't think so...
DP: You're not into numerology?
KT: No, not really. I think 7 is cool or maybe -- I don't know, 6 and 8 are pretty cool too.
DP: Well, it's even/even as far as numbers.
KT: Yeah, exactly.

DP: How often does the helmet toss come up?
KT: How often does it not come up? That's a constant thing that always comes up. And it will forever, I'm sure of that.
DP: Do you joke about it? Can you joke about it?
KT: Yeah. It's not really a serious, serious issue to me. People will ask, "Does it depress you?" I'm like, I was playing football. It was one play out of many and that's what happens and I don't regret a minute of it.
DP: But then what happened when you found out that Damien Robinson owns automatic weapons?
KT: I was like, oh wow, it figures. That's what I said when I found out, it figures.
DP: Did Aaron Brooks get you anything for standing up for him?
KT: No, he just shook my hand, that's about it, and said thanks.
DP: And who paid your fine?
KT: Oh, I paid my fine, of course.
DP: I thought that everybody would kind of...
KT: Well, actually, some fans started a bank account. It might even still be open. It was the Kyle Turley Defense Fund. And they started raising money ... I was doing radio shows every week, and people would come after the Jets' game happened and they would bring buckets every week, collecting for the Kyle Turley Defense Fund. And there was a bank account set up, supposedly. I heard about it on the radio, that there was a big account set up, and people could go to one of the banks down here and just drive up to the teller and say, "I want to donate money to the Turley Defense Fund."
DP: You poor guy.
KT: I haven't checked it out recently. I don't know if there's any money sitting in there still. It's pretty funny.

DP: A TV show you like that might surprise me.
KT: Probably "Friends" ... I like Joey, he reminds me of a couple of my buddies.
DP: So you don't watch because of Jennifer Aniston?
KT: That's cool, too, the hot chick on there, but I think it's just the way they do the dialogue -- it's real funny.

DP: You got any pets?
KT: You know what? I don't have any pets out here because I don't have a house out here anymore.
DP: I figured you'd be a guy who would have snakes or something.
KT: No, that's La'Roi Glover, my buddy from San Diego State. At school, La'Roi had a two-bedroom apartment, and one of the rooms was like a reptile zoo, man. He had all these snakes, pythons and cobras or whatever they were. Tons of them.
DP: It would be tough to have a sleepover there.
KT: Yeah, no kidding. Then he had dogs, too. So it was like a zoo going on there.

DP: What type of music do you like?
KT: I'm into the heavy stuff, the hard-core metal scene ... I'm into the more old-school heavy metal, southern metal, you know, rock stuff.
DP: Is there something in your CD collection that might be embarrassing if people knew?
KT: No, I pride myself on my CD collection. In college, probably, yeah, I might have had some Will Smith or something like that. I mean, just because in college it was the trendy thing to have blaring in your car. But now, I really take pride in my CD collection, so I would say no, I don't have anything embarrassing in my CD collection at all.
DP: Can you play a musical instrument?
KT: Yeah, I play the guitar and I learned to play the drums in the the offseason.
DP: Can you play well enough to get on stage? KT: Actually, I might be getting a band together -- oh, I pretty much am. I got these buddies in New Orleans, we're going to get a band and we're going to play some gigs this season.
DP: And the name of the band?
KT: I don't know, the name would probably just be Trench Warfare, with a Web site and all that stuff.

DP: What did Mike Ditka teach you?
KT: Ditka taught me how to be a professional. And to not take any [crap] from anybody. ... After Ditka, the biggest thing I learned was that nobody could phase me. I mean, another coach could never have the same intimidating presence he had. ... He played back in the day when tight ends did a lot of blocking and he prided himself on being a hard-nosed guy. So he understood the offensive-line position fairly well and respected us a great deal. ... As a tight end, he was able to experience enough of what the offensive lineman's job is to appreciate and to respect it a great deal.

DP: If a car defines a man, what does your car say about you?
KT: Wow. Right now, my car says that I'm trying to be low-profile.
DP: Why is that?
KT: The last couple of years, I would have been driving the big monster truck with the 36-inch tires and the big exhaust, with the glaring stereo with the heavy metal blaring out the windows. ... But here, I gotta stay low-profile or I'll go crazy. My old car, my old big monster truck I had, everybody would notice me on the road and people would almost ram into me. I'd try to change a lane and some guy would just speed up really quick, you know, just so he could wave at me or look at me. And I used to be like, oh my gosh, this is crazy. I gotta get another car out here.

	If he were NFL commissioner, Kyle Turley would eliminate two-a-days in training camp -- especially in light of Korey Stringer's death.

DP: You don't have any concerns about moving from right to left tackle, do you?
KT: No, it's going really well. I'm feeling very comfortable over there. I played left tackle in college, and my rookie year I played three different positions. I started at left guard for most of the year but I started at right tackle for a few games and I started at left tackle for one game for Willie when he was hurt. So I've felt very comfortable on the left side and just told myself that I knew I could play left tackle in this league, and if I ever had the opportunity again that I'd take it.
DP: That's one of those positions that you're really holding the health of the quarterback in your hands.
KT: Yeah, pretty much, unless you got a left-handed quarterback. But those guys on the other side of the defensive line, you know -- Michael Strahan, Kevin Carter, guys like that -- those guys are a lot bigger and they can put a lick on a quarterback a lot heavier than those speedy pass-rush linebackers who are coming off the left-tackle side.

DP: Do you initiate things in the pile or do you wait till somebody does something to you?
KT: I used to be the initiator, you know, the enforcer down the field, blocking guys till the whistle. But they got so many rules now, man, you won't even get a paycheck, it will go straight to the league.
DP: Do you talk during a game?
KT: I used to talk a lot. Now, if you cuss at another player, they could flag you for that. If you cussed at a ref -- like I used to get in cuss matches with refs all the time -- and if you cuss at a ref now, they can throw you out of the game, you know. I mean, it's so petty these days.
DP: Do you find that you have too much emotion? Are you concerned sometimes that you get too into a game and the role that you have to play?
KT: Yeah, I'm having to learn how to deal with that. ... I've had coach Haslett for the past two years come over to the sideline every game at least a couple of times, telling me the ref's going to throw me out of the game. And I'm just like, oh yeah. Can I just play football, please?
DP: Do you worry about the kind of person you'll be if you don't have football as your release? KT: No, not really. I mean, I'm a laid-back guy, it's just that something inside me -- I understand what it takes to play football. It's kind of like, a lot of coaches say you can't switch it on game day. But to me, I can. I mean, I hate practice, I hate training camp. I hate it. But when game day comes around, it's like -- I could put my headphones on and I get in the zone and it's just a whole 'nother realm that I get into. And after football is over, I mean, I'm going to be surfing every day, so I'll be mellow then.

DP: Fill in the blank: My biggest regret about realignment is...
KT: That we won't get to face the Rams any more, because I enjoyed beating them in St. Louis.
DP: After the Super Bowl, it seemed like you were almost as happy that the Rams lost as you would have been winning it yourself.
KT: Oh man, I was so happy. If the Rams had won a Super Bowl here [in New Orleans], I would have been so pissed, man ... I was on the edge of my seat just going please, please beat them, please. I just did not want them to win the Super Bowl. For them to have made it that far and to have lost was almost sweeter than for them to have not even made it at all, I think. Because you just saw the look on Mike Martz's face, man, and that was a great thing. And all those guys' faces, you know, Kurt Warner talking about he's going to have to buy the Super Bowl rings before the game -- and seeing Mike Martz, with that cocky look on his face, thinking he's got it in the bag and then, all of a sudden, they lose it.

DP: You have to give Adam Vinatieri a hug when you see him.
KT: Oh man, yes. No kidding.
DP: But why the hatred towards the Rams?
KT: My thing is this: If they were good all around, then I wouldn't have a problem with it. But that team stunk without Kurt Warner and Marshall Faulk. If they didn't have Warner and Faulk, those guys, they would suck. They would suck, man ... and for all those other guys like London Fletcher and Dre' Bly to be talking so much smack about how good they are and this and that, it was ridiculous to me -- I mean, it was like being at San Diego State again. You'd have shootouts, you know. And to go against a team with no defense -- even last year, when they improved their defense, they still weren't that great. ... If they hadn't have talked so much, there wouldn't be a big deal. If they would just admit that the reason why they're so good is because of Warner and Faulk, then I'd be like, OK, that's cool. You guys are humble about being good, you know, and being fortunate enough to have those players on your team. Because without them, they would be nowhere.
DP: You probably have a problem with the guys who aren't the major stars, who do most of the talking, where Warner and Faulk don't say anything.
KT: Exactly. And that's my whole thing. I mean, Kurt Warner and Marshall Faulk carried that team on their shoulders, and the rest of those guys just rode their backs and jabbed their jaws the whole way through. And it was ridiculous to me.

DP: Can you use fear as a motivational tool in your position?
KT: I don't know. I mean, some guys get intimidated, but in the National Football League you don't get too much of that. Maybe some rookie gets a little scared, but I think on game days, for the most part, everybody is professional enough that they just block everything out and everybody's just a number out there. Nobody's really a name on the football field come Sunday.

DP: Would you cheat to win?
KT: If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying.
DP: What would you do?
KT: I don't know ... if it were a decision about whether or not to hold a guy to maybe help my runner, I don't know ... I would definitely do it to win. I want to win.
DP: Should baseball test for steroids?
KT: If we've got to, I think every sport should have to. I mean, it's ridiculous how much we get tested for that stuff in the NFL, and we need it the most. Those guys don't even need that crap. I mean, we need it.
DP: So you would try it?
KT: I don't know ... I've never done it because of a personal desire. And because I got a personal drive in me that I know I can get through without it. ... If I knew I wouldn't get tested, well -- see, people put this information out it that it's such a bad thing when, if you use it correctly, there's not too many side effects. If you abuse anything. you're going to have serious side effects. If you drink too much diet cola, you're going to get cancer, you know. So in excess, anything is bad, but if you can scientifically measure something out to where it can help you out but you don't get addicted to it or anything like that, there shouldn't be a problem with that. But I don't agree with it being in sports.
DP: Do you know guys who circumvent the testing and get away with it?
KT: Yeah, I'm sure guys do that. I'm sure they do. But they test so randomly in the NFL, it would be hard.
DP: Would you lose respect for somebody if you knew they used steroids?
KT: Only if it affected the team -- if they were stupid about it. In college we had a couple of guys use it who weren't really contributing to the team and got thrown out, so it was like no big deal. But there were other guys in college who would do it and then they'd get suspended for the rest of the year -- and it affected the team. ... I know that I don't do it and none of my buddies on the team do it. I don't know anybody on our team who does steroids. For someone to think they have to when everybody else isn't, that's selfish, especially if it affects the team and they get busted if they play a major role in the team.
DP: Should marijuana be legalized?
KT: Definitely. Didn't the state of Nevada pass that or something?
DP: They were going to vote on it.
KT: Yeah, I definitely think so. I mean, I think the government is missing out on a great income thing right there. If they legalized marijuana, the South would rise again, Hawaii would be the No. 1 state in the country and we wouldn't have any more debt. That deficit would be no more.
DP: But we'd have a lot of messed-up people.
KT: Hey, the world would be a better place, man. I can guarantee that. I don't know too many people that go start shooting people and driving crazy on marijuana. Marijuana, the people that I know that smoke it are mellow people and they just lay low.
DP: But you're a surfer dude, so you know what? It's guilt by association with you.
KT: Hey, we get tested for all those drugs, man, and I pass every one of the tests.
DP: How often do they test you?
KT: They test us once a year for substances of abuse, but then it's a random steroid and ephedrine test anytime. But you only get tested once a year for marijuana or substance-abuse drugs.

DP: You're the commissioner for a day. What do you want to change?
KT: I would eliminate two-a-day practices and training camp.
DP: But the commissioner has nothing to do with that.
KT: Oh yes he does, man. He can call that off big-time. After Korey Stringer died, man, he could have said, you know what? No more two-a-days. You teams are having these guys out there all offseason long, from March to the end of June, and then they've got to go through a month of training camp, and some of these training camps are hot as hell. There's no need, especially at that time of year, there's no need for two-a-day practices. You can have your time, but just do one practice a day. Have your month-long training camp, one practice a day. That's it, man. The commissioner could do that. He could have done that after the Korey Stringer thing, but instead they went and banned ephedrine, so it's still a problem.
DP: As if that's going to stop 350-pound linemen from keeling over.
KT: Exactly. "Oh, it was the ephedrine" -- yeah, right.

DP: Do we protect the quarterback too much?
KT: I think so. Especially the new rules for quarterbacks trying to make the tackle after an interception. It's, like, a 15-yard penalty, because of the hit on Mark Brunell last year. ... I'm a defensive guy at heart, from when I started playing football, so I have that mentality. I just think the quarterback, if he gets outside the pocket, he should be fair game. As an offensive lineman, I'm not going to let someone blast my quarterback or anything like that, but if he does something stupid -- you know, if Aaron Brooks is running down the field and dives head first and gets blasted, I just wonder, what the hell was he thinking?