| | Tiger Woods sits at home and confronts the one unasked question to come out of his evisceration of the United States Open:
|  | | Tiger Woods didn't miss many putts this week at Pebble Beach. |
What's for lunch?
Yes, it's tough being a colossus, especially at an age when all the other people at the office are old enough to be a police lieutenant. It's tough being on the inside of the Question Of The Day:
Is Tiger Woods Greater Than:
A) Jack Nicklaus
B) Muhammad Ali
C) Zeus
D) Regis Philbin
E) All Of The Above, Plus Britney Spears
Here on the outside of Woods' head, we continue to debate the lesser issues, like, "So how 'bout that British Open?" or "If he's mastered golf like none before him, why aren't all the other golfers seeking out jobs in the exciting world of furniture repossession?" or "Do you think he could play the outfield for a Double-A baseball team?"
Woods has done a nice job of bending our brains this past week, trying to make sense of a future he hasn't even lived yet. Beating Ernie Els and Miguel Angel Jimenez by 15 shots, that we understand. Woods breaks down his hole-by-hole, and we glaze over and say, "Ahhh, yes, the putt on 12. So elegant. So sublime."
But now comes the hard part for us -- waiting impatiently for him to win that 19th major tournament, or that 70th regular tournament, or shoot that video with Eminem, or design those courses at the Vatican, Mecca, Agra and Hallandale, Fla. After all, we've all got our own visions of what he can, will and should do, but damn it, Edna, we're not all 24 years old like him, and we just can't sit around and wait for him to get to it.
It is truly remarkable the powers a 15-stroke win in a major golf tournament can bestow. By turning every other professional golfer in the world into a field bet, Woods has been elevated to omnipotence. Indeed, the most critical reviews he must endure from his peers is that he hasn't eradicated Nicklaus yet.
The possibility that he might not manage it at all no longer occurs to anyone. Right now, Woods cannot be injured, cannot get distracted by love or family, cannot be bored, cannot be burned out -- largely because we said he can't.
Yeah. Like we have some say.
Tiger Woods could take us places we haven't been before, as a golfer and perhaps as a sporting figure. He could be the next Michael Jordan, although we can't see him becoming the general manager of the Buy.Com tour any time soon. He could be the next Ali, except that golf isn't all that important in roughly half the earthly land mass. He could be DiMaggio if we can all agree on who should play Marilyn Monroe. He surely could be Nicklaus, but not for at least 10 years (unless he's planning to win the next four grand slams).
Right now, with 360 degrees of future open to him, he could be anything we want him to be. What he wants himself to be is still to be determined.
And that's the maddening thing about Woods. He doesn't seem to have our petty little agendas in mind. He seems to be set on the notion that his
future is up to him rather than everyone else.
Such cheek.
He already has shown the strength of will to change his golf swing to make himself even better than he already was. He will probably join Audible Cursers Anonymous so as to eliminate one more potential area of objection. He might even decide to kill a summer doing Lee Trevino -- hustling the locals at public courses using only a five-iron, a Coke bottle and a Dirt Devil.
Frankly, we don't know. And the suspense is killing us.
We see where he's heading, at least as a golfer. We have not, however, shown much inclination to wait patiently for the tale to fully unfold, largely because the tale is going to take a couple of decades to work itself out. After all, as author, social critic and part-time professional bowler Ralph Wiley says, there are children as yet unborn who will see Woods when he reaches what should be his athletic prime.
Woods still not in his prime ... now there's a notion to make the blood run cold.
So we wait. The British Open is in less than a month. The PGA Championship is in August. PBS is months away from its next nationwide pledge drive. So we wait.
Fortunately we have stuff to do until he's ready to tell us.
Ray Ratto, a columnist for the San Francisco Examiner, is a regular contributor to ESPN.com. | |
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AUDIO/VIDEO
 ESPN's Chris Berman talks with U.S. Open champion Tiger Woods.
RealVideo: | 28.8
Tiger goes 9 under par after hitting a long putt on 12 (Courtesy: NBC).
avi: 734 k
RealVideo: 56.6 | ISDN | T1
Tiger Woods is all smiles after putting the ball 5 feet away from the pin on 11 (Courtesy: NBC).
avi: 1060 k
RealVideo: 56.6 | ISDN | T1
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