Boston general manager Dan Duquette fired Jimy Williams when the manager had the team 12 games over .500. Since then the Red Sox have lost 12 of 18 games, including their last nine, falling 9½ games behind the hated Yankees and out of the postseason race, fired John Cumberland from a position he never officially had, put Nomar Garciaparra back on the disabled list and learned that Pedro Martinez is pitching with a slight tear in his rotator cuff.

With the entire clubhouse in near mutiny, what else can go wrong for Red Sox fans? Rather than endure the remaining painful weeks of the season, here's a sneak peek of what's to come ...

	Dan Duquette will rest on Sept. 17, but will still manage to make news.

Sept. 6: Red Sox lose 2-1 to Cleveland. Duquette fires the bat boys.

Sept. 7: David Cone allows unearned run in 1-0 loss at Yankee Stadium. Duquette releases him for "performance issues."

Sept. 8: Duquette announces on pre-game show that Ted Williams is healthy and has been "milking his open-heart surgery for sympathy."

Sept. 9: Carl Everett drops his pants and moons New York starter Andy Pettitte after breaking up perfect game in 1-0 loss. Red Sox take no disciplinary action.

Sept. 10: Red Sox win draining, six-hour, 16-inning 3-2 victory over New York. Duquette celebrates by phoning Jimy Williams and asking him if his refrigerator is running.

Sept. 11: Everett head-butts umpire Ron Kulpa, spits in his face and kicks him in the testicles. Club takes no disciplinary action.

Sept. 12: Manny Ramirez demands a trade to the Expos.

Sept. 13: Tampa Bay completes three-game series sweep. Duquette fires receptionist.

Sept. 14: Nomar's rehab suffers a setback when a shark bites off his right hand while the shortstop is swimming laps around Nantucket. Duquette announces that the fans still deserve to see him play, "And with all the money we're paying him, he can learn to throw left-handed."

Sept. 15: After Duquette fires batting coach Scott Ullger, the Red Sox issue an apology along with a grudging acknowledgment that Ullger is the Twins batting coach and therefore beyond Duquette's jurisidiction.

Sept. 16: A 3-1 loss to Baltimore officially eliminates Red Sox from postseason race and drops them into third place behind Toronto. Club announces it is raising ticket prices by 30 percent, retroactive to 1998.

Sept. 17: Off day. Duquette relaxes by firing mail room staff.

Sept. 18: Pedro's right arm falls off at the shoulder in mid-pitch. Team doctors diagnose it as a slight strain and say he may miss his next start.

Sept. 19: Red Sox CEO John Harrington releases designs for yet another new stadium, with an estimated construction cost of $1.58 billion to be raised by closing public schools and selling the body parts of Boston's homeless and working poor.

Sept. 20: Everett sets fire to manager Joe Kerrigan's office. Duquette gives him contract extension.

Sept. 21: Club charges the Jimmy Fund $100,000 for its sign at Fenway Park.

Sept. 22: Red Sox release Hideo Nomo after he fails to rewind his "There's Something About Mary" video before returning it.

Sept. 23: Duquette fires pitching coach Ralph Treuel "for no particular reason."

Sept. 24: Duquette celebrates a 4-1 victory over Baltimore by ordering five dozen pizzas with extra anchovies delivered to John Cumberland's house.

Sept. 25: Everett chokes Kerrigan. Finally fed up with this deplorable and embarrassing behavior, the club responds by firing Kerrigan.

Sept. 26: Duquette rehires Jimy Williams just for the pleasure of firing him again.

Sept. 27: The team is sold to Everett as part of a bonus incentive.

Sept. 28: Red Sox release Dante Bichette after he takes up two spots in the parking lot.

Sept. 29: Duquette fires secretary during lunch in a crowded restaurant so she won't cause a scene. Orders dessert and reads latest layoff reports in tech sector. Smiles.

Sept. 30: Red Sox end season with 2-0 loss to Detroit, dropping them into fourth place behind Baltimore. Everett announces his first move as new owner is to paint the Green Monster orange.

Box score line of the week
Mike Mussina came within one strike of pitching a perfect game. Rookie Bud Smith pitched a no-hitter to raise his career record to 4-2. But this week's award goes to San Diego pitcher Junior Herndon for his extraordinary performance last Thursday. He faced 24 batters and retired only nine of them. He gave up a home run to the first batter he faced, walked in a run and walked another batter intentionally to give up a three-run home run to the next batter.

Herndon's line:

3 IP, 9 H, 11 R, 11 ER, 4 BB, 1 K, 1 WP, 2 HBP, 3 HR.

Lies, damn lies and statistics
Does your team have a chance to catch the first place team? If baseball history is any indication, not if it trailed by eight or more games last Saturday morning. No team has ever come back from a lead that great in September. ... While major-league fans wonder whether Barry Bonds or Sammy Sosa can break Mark McGwire's home run record, former-Cub Tuffy Rhodes entered the final 20 games of the Japanese season six home runs shy of Sadaharu Oh's single season record of 55. He is one home run short of becoming the second gaijin player to hit 50 in a season (Randy Bass, with 54, is the only one to do so). But don't expect Tuffy to get many strikes the final couple weeks. ... Most interesting pickup for the stretch drive? Over the weekend, Atlanta signed Julio Franco, who has one major league at-bat (two years ago for Tampa Bay) in the past four years and was hitting .437 in 110 games for Mexico City. ... Ichiro note of the week: Ichiro seemed like a lock to break Lloyd Waner's record for most base hits by a rookie (223) a couple weeks ago, then Elias pointed out -- quite correctly -- that Joe Jackson was a rookie in 1911 when he had 233 hits. Apparently, there were no official rookie standards in place at the time and after the 1919 Black Sox scandal, most record keepers held that against Jackson. But Elias assures him his rightful place. Or at least until Ichiro breaks his record. He needs 23 hits in Seattle's final 23 games to do so.

From left field
Bret Boone set the Boone family record for most RBI in a season last week, surpassing the 116 runs his grandfather, Ray Boone, drove in in 1955. The four Boones (Ray, Bob, Bret and Aaron) have 2,423 career RBI, an impressive total but not enough to unseat the family mark of 2,739 held by the DiMaggio brothers. Here are the most RBI by one family (brothers, sons and fathers only):

Total	Family	Members
2,739	DiMaggio	Brothers Joe, Dom and Vince
2,542	Bonds	Bobby and son Barry
2,469	Alou	Brothers Felipe, Matty and Jesus, and Felipe's son, Moises
2,423	Boone	Ray and son Bob, and grandsons Bret and Aaron
2,391	Aaron	Brothers Hank and Tommie
2,324	Bell	Gus and son Buddy, and grandsons David and Mike
2,180	Griffey	Ken and son Ken, Jr.
2,053	Delahanty	Brothers Ed, Jim, Frank, Joe and Tom
1,914	Ripken	Brothers Cal and Billy
1,907	Waner	Brothers Paul and Lloyd

Power rankings

1. Mariners Al Martin could lose LF spot to Jay Buhner, but at least he still has four years eligibility left at USC

2. Bud Smith Rookie throws no-hitter, but Padres are checking his birth certificate

3. Janet Reno Slogan for Florida gubernatorial campaign: "I let Alex Gonzalez stay in Miami"

4. Yankees N.Y. taking stretch run cautiously this year -- won't release ticker-tape parade route until Sept. 18

5. Maris family Sues Anheuser-Busch for $1 billion "or beer distribution rights to David Wells"

6. Crash Davis Real life inspiration for "Bull Durham" dies, joining Kevin Costner's career

7. Philadelphia Falling faster than anyone has in Philly since Apollo Creed in "Rocky IV"

8. Oregon State Upset loss after staggeringly successful undefeated off season

9. Little League Ugliest scandal since "The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training"

10. Red Sox Forget the Bambino -- the real problem is the Curse of Dan Duquette

Voice of summer
"Teammates put teeth under pillow -- he puts his teeth in a glass of water."

-- No. 6 on David Letterman's list of "Signs a Player Might Be Too Old for Little League."

Jim Caple is a Senior Writer for ESPN.com.