espn.com Ali Contest
After Dubya choked on a pretzel and fainted during Sunday's Ravens-Dolphins game, you can only imagine the jokes we'll hear tonight on Leno and Letterman. But Jim Caple did a little research and found out this is no joke! Historically, presidents watching sports events is a combination fraught with extreme danger. CAPLE: WARNING TO WEST WING




ESPN TOOLS
 
Email story
 
Most sent
 
What could be better than a clear Bay Area day in January, a company softball game ending mercifully early, the beloved 49ers on the tube for a playoff game in Green Bay, a six-pack, a comfortable couch, TiVo and J. Geils' "Centerfold" as background music? Why, nothing, writes Page 2's Brian Murphy in this week's edition of The Water Cooler.

Sportoon Critical Mass
Inspired by "The Matrix," "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "The Chair," Page 2 cartoonist Kurt Snibbe interprets the NFL's wild weekend of wild cards. The results still aren't pretty for the Bucs, Jets, Niners and Dolphins. Of course, that's nothing compared to what Snibbe sees in Mark Cuban's future.
 Should you devote two hours of your life to watching the premiere of TNT's "Monday Night Mayhem" tonight? Well, when John Turturro is on screen as Howard Cosell, the made-for-TV event is a treat ... otherwise, it's more like an uninspired media documentary than a real movie, says Page 2's Eric Neel.


This week, Page 2 lists 10 irritating things at sporting events that must stop immediately. After reading our top 10, break out your irks, pet peeves and gripes and let us know what you'd like to see stopped. Later this week, we'll run our readers' top 10 with a poll to pick the No. 1 irritating thing you'd like to see end.
10]  Singers who lip-synch "The Star-Spangled Banner"
Why bother?
9]   People who scramble over one another to get a $3 T-shirt thrown into the stands
Just let the kids have it.
8]   People talking on their cell phone behind home plate and then waving to the camera
As Vince Lombardi said about the end zone, "Act like you've been there before."
7]   NBA mascots who need springboards to dunk
Come back when you can do that somersault without the extra help.
  • GET THE FULL LIST


NFL FAVORITE LINE UNDERDOG O/U
Saturday Bears 2½ Eagles 32½
Saturday Patriots 3½ Raiders 40½
Sunday Steelers 5½ Ravens 32
Sunday Rams 10 Packers 54½
All Times ET -- Bold indicates home team
Complete Line


 
Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2?
Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists.


HEY, RUBE
As if the dangerous Ravens aren't enough of a problem, Hunter S. Thompson contends with cavity searches at airports.

THE SPORTS GUY
Page 2's Bill Simmons lays down the law, with his 13 rules for picking winners in the NFL playoffs.

WELLNESS REPORT
The Yankees took a chance on David Wells after seeing the hefty lefty's physical. Page 2's Jim Caple has a top-secret look at what they found.

NEWS THAT FITS
From fast-food franchises to Shaq's reading list, Chris Connelly tries to dig up some answers about recent events.
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.


It's Florida athletics director Jeremy Foley, left, and actor Gary Busey. Page 2 has received two requests for this match. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo for Page 2.

Men's hoops: Notre Dame at Syracuse
7 p.m. ET, ESPN
Orangemen have cruised in Big East.
 
Men's hoops: Texas at Texas Tech
9 p.m. ET, ESPN
Knight's Red Raiders try to rebound from first Big 12 loss.
 
Tennis: Australian Open
9:30 p.m. ET, ESPN2
See if injuries and upsets continue Down Under.
 
• Complete TV Listings


If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Fri., Jan. 11: Lucky 13
• Thurs., Jan. 10: Knight moves
• Wed., Jan. 9: What are they thinking?
• Tues., Jan. 8: Pyramid scheme
Other featured content:
• 10 Burning Questions for Jeanette Lee
• What Are They Thinking?
• Berman Files: Tom Brady
• The Power Poll
• Mystery Photo responses
• The Year in Sex & Sports
Monday, Jan. 14, 2002
.