espn.com Ali Contest
When looked at from a certain perspective, pro football is an intellectually engrossing yet absurd game. Coincidentally, that's the exact perspective of Tuesday Morning Quarterback (a k a Gregg Easterbrook), who brings his prize-winning Slate column to Page 2. TMQ debuts with a mock draft that mocks the very idea of mock drafts.
TUESDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK




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A pay-per-view roast of Shaq by a bunch of second-rate comedians and has-been celebs? Bad times, bad times. But the Sports Guy, a sucker for roasts of anyone by anybody, laid down his $9.95 and proved, once again, that he is the ultimate pro. Fighting off the desire to sleep, he kept a diary of the disaster in which he demonstrates how a roast is supposed to work.

The Power Poll Memorabilia vs. Memories
OK, faithful readers of Page 2's Power Poll, here's our "Well, duh" question of the week: Assuming Tiger Woods, the Kings and the Indians are our top three picks, which do you think is No. 1? Here are a couple of hints: (1) the greatest golfer who ever lived; and (2) one of the greatest girlfriends who ever lived. (No, Tyra, we don't mean you.)
 Why is it, wonders columnist Bob Halloran, that so many people nowadays seem to value lame sports memorabilia purchased on eBay over actual memories of real people and real events? Halloran recalls, as a teenager, throwing away a bundle of the previous year's baseball cards ... and laughing about it. Can you imagine that happening today?

LOOK BACK AT THE MASTERS
With another Masters in the books, Page 2 looks back fondly at our week among the azaleas. We marveled at the collapse of all the other "contenders," wondered where Tiger's girlfriend ranks among the all-time great nannies and asked a simple question: Is Mr. Woods the luckiest man alive?


Page 2 lists the 10 most overpaid players in the NBA. After checking out our choices, send us a note with your pick and later this week we'll run a poll to crown the No. 1 overpaid NBA player.

10]  Zydrunas Illgauskas, Cavaliers
The 7-foot-3, 260-pound Lithuanian has played just 87 games over the past three seasons.
9]  Tom Gugliotta, Suns
Thanks to injuries, he's now a shadow of his former self.
8]   Austin Croshere, Pacers
As Chad Ford wrote: "A major disappointment, Croshere seems to get time only in garbage minutes, despite the fact some of the Pacers' key frontcourt players have been down with injuries."
7]   Scottie Pippen, Blazers
His 10.7 ppg. average this season is way down from his career average of 16-plus.
  • GET THE FULL LIST


NHL futures: Odds to win Stanley Cup (4/15)
Red Wings 5-2 Senators 12-1
Avalanche 6-1 Blackhawks 12-1
Bruins 6-1 Kings 15-1
Flyers 8-1 Hurricanes 18-1
Maple Leafs 8-1 Islanders 20-1
Sharks 8-1 Canucks 22-1
Devils 10-1 Canadiens 25-1
Blues 10-1 Coyotes 30-1
Complete Line


 
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Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists.


TAX MAN
Don't bother filing an extension, Jim Caple gives you some last-minute tax advice with some assistance from pro athletes' accountants.

THE SPORTS GUY
Page 2's Bill Simmons rolls on with part 2 of his NBA awards -- with help from the movie "Rounders."

REEL LIFE
You know "The Rookie" is based on a true story, but just how accurate is Dennis Quaid's new movie? Page 2's Closer Look explores.

YES ... AND NO
A lot of New Yorkers can't see the new Yankee network, and Page 2's Jim Caple says they're missing one heck of a show.

NAKED TRUTH
Michael Malone surprisingly found a way to make many NBA players blush: Ask them which woman they'd like to see pose for Playboy.
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.


If the Red Wings' Steve Yzerman, left, were to grow his hair out, he might be a dead ringer for actor Johnny Depp, the star of "Blow" and "Chocolat." Page 2 has received 36 requests for this match. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo.

Devil Rays at Tigers
7 p.m. ET, MLB Extra Innings
Detroit's best chance for win No. 1.
 
Pistons at Nets
8 p.m. ET, TBS
East's best teams tune up for playoffs.
 
2002 Action Sports & Music Awards
9 p.m. ET, ESPN
Just like the ESPYs but with skateboards.
 
• Complete TV Listings


If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Mon., April 14: The Master
• Fri., April 12: Just say YES!
• Thurs., April 11: Uppin' the Ante
• Wed., April 10: Think Again!

Other featured content:
• Bizarre & Bogus
• What the Heck Are They Thinking?
• 10 Burning Questions for Samuel L. Jackson
• Mystery Photo: Broderick in the swing
• Anna Kournikova vs. Marilyn Monroe
• Makin' it Better: Seahawks uniforms
• 10 Burning Questions for Dennis Quaid
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
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