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Why is Sammy suddenly surly? What's Leo DiCaprio's big beef with Dubya? What prompted Nic Cage to walk down the aisle with the King's kid? And what was going through Nate Newton's mind as he went up the river? Page 2 answers these questions and more in the latest edition of "What the Heck Are They Thinking?"
IT'S TIME TO START "THINKING"




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Luckily, four major sports halls of fame are located right near Interstate 90 (and a fifth, pro football, is not that far away). So Jim Caple interrupted his cross-country journey into the soul of American sports to go all fuzzy and nostalgic on us ... and, while he was there, rate the best and the worst of what he found in Cooperstown, Canton and elsewhere.

Critical Mass Mystery Photo
Children change everything ... even the habits of lifelong sports fans. New father Eric Neel devotes this week's Critical Mass column to calculating the losses vs. the wins since the arrival of his daughter, Tess. How's he doing? Hint: If he were a baseball team, he'd be the Yankees.
If you've seen the Mets lately, you know Bobby Valentine hangs out with a bunch of dogs every night. Still, Page 2 couldn't figure out what Bobby V. was doing with these collies in this week's Mystery Photo. Quick, Lassie, go find Timmy and come back with an answer.

TUESDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK
The kickoff of the NFL season is 15 days away, so Tuesday Morning Quarterback knows this is no time to get distracted. As TMQ offers his AFC preview, however, his focus is hardly in midseason form. Our man can't take his eyes off all those garish new uniforms ... or (what else is new?) the cheerleaders.


This week, Page 2 picks the 10 worst NFL teams of all time. After checking out our list, send us a note with your choice for the worst NFL team in history. We'll compile our readers' bottom 10 later this week, along with a poll to crown the all-time worst NFL team.
10]  1934 Cincinnati Reds (0-8)
The Reds scored only one touchdown and one field goal all season, while their defense gave up 243 points.
9]  2001 Carolina Panthers (1-15)
The Panthers set an NFL record, losing 15 straight after their season-opening 24-13 victory over the Vikings.
8]  1980 Saints (1-15)
Archie Manning, the Saints' long-suffering QB, later called the 1980 season, "The darkest side of football."
  • GET THE FULL LIST


VEGAS' ODDS TO WIN 2003 SUPER BOWL
Rams 4-1   Dolphins 15-1
Steelers 10-1   Colts 15-1
Eagles 11-1   Packers 15-1
Buccaneers 12-1   Broncos 15-1
Raiders 15-1   Patriots 20-1
Complete line


 
Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.


THE SPORTS GUY
Page 2's Bill Simmons has always thought the idea of a fan strike was a bit farfetched ... but not anymore. He's on a campaign to take back baseball. Will you join him?

CHUCKY'S IN LOVE
Ralph Wiley explains what he sees in Bucs coach Jon Gruden ... and what Gruden sees in QB Rob Johnson.

THE WATER COOLER
Brian Murphy finally finds refreshment at the Weekend Water Cooler, but it's not the Sparkletts, it's from the attitude of PGA champ Rich Beem.

REEL LIFE
Jeff Merron catches the wave of press that's been carrying "Blue Crush" and checks out what's real in the girl surfing flick.
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.


It's Utah Starzz coach Candi Harvey, left, whose team has reached the WNBA's Western Conference finals, and actress Annette Benning of "American Beauty". Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo.


Angels at Yankees
1 p.m. ET, ESPN2
AL playoff preview?
 
Athletics at Indians
7 p.m. ET, ESPN2 (regional)
Or Rangers at Red Sox.
 
Reds at Diamondbacks
10 p.m. ET, ESPN2 (regional)
Or Mets at Giants.
 
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If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Tues., Aug. 20: The fans strike
• Mon., Aug. 19: Bride of Chucky
• Fri., Aug. 16: Passed Away
• Thurs., Aug. 15: Hold the Phonies

Other featured content:
• Sportoon: The 2002 remix of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"
• America's top 10 pop-culture icons
• 10 Burning Questions with Bud Selig
• The Power Poll
• Makin' It Better: New unis & logos
• Being Dr. Evil
Tuesday, Aug. 20, 2002
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