espn.com Ali Contest
Something must have been festering in the back of their minds when the Dixie Chicks recently posed au naturel for Entertainment Weekly. But what? And how, exactly, was Art Howe going to explain away eight Mets' errors on the same day? Then, of course, there are the rumps of Brad Pitt and J-Lo. We fill in the blanks and more.
WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING?




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We're past the preliminaries, which means it's time to get serious about the playoffs. (Are you listening, Kobe?) Page 2 says that from this point on, home is often where the heartbreak is. Our Charley Rosen breaks down each second-round series into the digestible bits you'll need as you gnaw through the drama.

The Daily Quickie The Water Cooler
A weekend of sports action has left the Daily Quickie full of questions: What's up with Bill Parcells' hair? Should the Blazers be broken up? Any doubt over Tim Duncan's MVP? Miami to the ACC? Will Barry Zito ever pitch for the Yankees?
 Page 2's Brian Murphy says true Tiger fans will remember today's 4-25 team when things turn around. Of course, true Tiger fans number about 100 right now. But at least they can enjoy the wit and wisdom of the ever-quotable Dmitri Young.

SMELL THE ... UH, ROSES
If you think all the action at the Kentucky Derby took place down the stretch, you weren't with Page 2's Jim Armstrong in the Official Tattoo Parlor of the International Partyers. That's right, the Churchill Downs infield, where anything goes, including foot-long hogies stuffed with bourbon bottles.


OK, we've all seen when athletes take out their aggression on other athletes, but let's not forget about the harmless creatures who have fallen as well. In honor of those animals who gave, so we could enjoy our games, we give you Page 2's list of the worst 10 cases of sports and animal cruelty:
10]  Mariner Moose smashes into wall, breaks ankle
The playoff pressuse must have gotten to Mariner Moose. In 1995 while riding on in-line skates behind a four-wheeler something went wrong and the moose went loose -- smashing into the left field wall.
9]  Ozzy the osprey knocked from perch
Jae Kuk Ryu, a 19-year-old pitcher for the Class A Daytona Cubs, hit Ozzy with a baseball in an attempt to knock him off his home. He succeeded and was charged with harming a protected bird
8]  Golfer clubs black swan
Alex, a 6-foot exotic black swan imported from Australia by Donald Trump, was killed by a golfer at the Trump International Golf Club. Harry Wagner told investigators he felt threatened by the swan, which is why he broke the rare bird's neck.
  • GET THE FULL LIST


NBA FAVORITE LINE UNDERDOG O/U
Monday Nets 7½ Celtics 182
Monday Spurs 2½ Lakers 191
Tuesday Pistons 1½ Sixers 181½
Tuesday Kings 1½ Mavericks 206
Bold indicates home team | Complete line


 
Got a comment about something you've seen on Page 2? Here's your chance to sound off to the editors and columnists. Plus, if you'd like to send an e-mail to The Sports Guy, here's your direct link to Bill Simmons.


EUSTACHY VS. PRICE
Can't a man relax? Page 2's Nick Bakay compares the troubles of Larry Eustachy and Mike Price.

PARTY GAME
Play along with Page 2's new party game inspired by recent coaching extracurricular activities.

THE SPORTS GUY
After five months on the Left Coast, The Sports Guy still can't get used to watching sports the minute he rolls out of bed.

HEY, RUBE
As he celebrates marital bliss, the Good Doctor takes time to give his take on the NBA playoffs.

WEST IS BEST
Take a seat, East Coast: Watching sports TV in the West is a better deal ... much better writes Eric Neel.

THE LIST
The Rockies' Todd Jones says he wouldn't want a gay teammate, and nobody pays attention. Nobody -- except Page 2's Tim Keown, that is.
If your favorite writer isn't on Page 2 today, click here to check out our full roster of columnists.


It's Dodgers pitcher Eric Gagne, left, and MTV superstar Jack Osbourne. This match was requested by Lawrence Warshaw of New York. Browse our archives of past pairs or click here to submit a future duo.


NBA Playoffs: Celtics at Nets
7 p.m. ET, TNT
The series kicks off in Jersey.
 
NBA Playoffs: Lakers at Spurs
9:30 p.m. ET, TNT
L.A. gets after the Admiral.
 
NHL Playoffs
10:30 p.m. ET, ESPN and ESPN2
Stars at Ducks and Wild at Canucks
 
• Complete TV Listings


If you missed Page 2 over the last week, check out our back issues:
• Fri., May 2: Mano a Mano
• Thurs., May 1: East vs. West
• Wed., April 30: Inhumane Society
• Tues., April 29: A Is For Everybody

Other featured content:
• 10 Burning Questions for Nelly
• Illegal Motion: Our new animated cartoon
• What the Heck Are They Thinking?
• Fashion Report: Women in Uniform
• Page 2's 2003 Wacky Bracket
Monday, May 5, 2003
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