We're just going to assume that our invitation was lost in the mail. After all, nobody has followed Britney Spears' career as closely as Page 2.

Yet when the Pop Princess married Jason Allen Alexander, a childhood friend from her hometown of Kentwood, La., early Saturday morning in Las Vegas, no one from the Page 2 staff was present to witness the nuptials at The Little White Wedding Chapel.

	"You may kiss the bride. Uh, no, not you, Madonna."

Oh well, we didn't really need to be there. We can easily imagine what transpired during that brief ceremony at 5:30 a.m.

So, before this union is officially annulled Monday, we present our list of the Top 12 Things Overheard at Britney's Wedding:

12. "There's a guy who desperately wants to get 'in the zone,' if you know what I mean."

11. "Man, that actor from 'Seinfeld' looks a lot different in person."

10. "Not quite a bride, not yet a divorcee."

9. "Dude, you're marrying her on the first date? Whipped!!!"

8. "Britney, you strip your clothes off after the ceremony. Not during."

7. "I, Britney, take you Justin ..." "Psst. Baby, it's Jason."

6. "How does it go? Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Brews before a shot, you'll be tying the knot."

5. "I ran into Pete Rose at the sports book, and he bet me I wouldn't go through with it."

4. "Don't you think she's taking this rivalry with Jessica Simpson a little too far?"

3. "Really, back home in Louisiana it's not at all unusual for the bride to wear torn jeans and a baseball cap."

2. "Dude, you're breaking up ... listen, I just married Britney Spears ... no, I haven't been eating contaminated beef."

1. "Oh, boy, this is awkward. Can somebody please tell Madonna to take off the groom's tux?"