| | | MELVILLE, N.Y. -- And now we come to the four most welcome words in the minor-league vocabulary: All U Can Eat.
You could almost feel the owners of the Chinese Grand Buffet tremble as the Lehigh Valley Black Diamonds bus pulled up to the strip-mall
restaurant Wednesday afternoon. Fortunately for the restaurant's stockholders, there were only four of us taking advantage of the $7.99 lunch special -- player coach Edgar Tovar, pitcher Jose Ramirez, bus driver Donald Smart and myself.
The booths held four people apiece, but Tovar suggested that we sit two to a table instead, allowing everyone space to really spread out and eat.
After the waitress took our drink orders, Ramirez stood up and smiled on his way to the buffet line.
"Let's go to work," he said, ready to inflict as much damage on the restaurant's profit margin as possible in one sitting.
Welcome back to life on the road with the minor league Black Diamonds, otherwise known as "The Atlantic League on $18 a Day."
|  | | You certainly don't want to be the last guy in line at the Black Diamonds' postgame spread. |
Actually, make that $15. Although the Lehigh Valley players technically receive $18 day in meal money, $3 of that goes to providing the clubhouse spreads.
Now, you can get by on $15 for a while, if you live at home and can stock your cupboards with 60 packs of ramen. But it isn't so easy if you play
for the Black Diamonds and spend 140 consecutive days on the road, never coming within a tape measure home run of a Costco warehouse store.
Especially when you factor in the price of beer.
The Diamonds stay in some good hotels -- they're in a very nice Hilton at the moment -- but the flip side of that is they can't afford to eat there.
"The orange juice in Newark was $4 a glass," pitcher Mark Seaver said.
And don't even think about room service. You get charged $6 if you just accidentally look at the in-room mini-bars.
|  | | Catcher Jason Torres sinks his teeth into a postgame meal. |
The players receive their meal money for a series the first day in a new town, and the challenge is making it last until the final day. It's a bit like getting safely around the Monopoly board with only $50 and a row of hotels on Boardwalk, Park Place and the green properties staring at you.
"I ran out of money the first day," pitcher Justin Lombardi said. "But it was an off-day, and I went into New York City."
No, $15 doesn't last long in Tribeca.
There are a couple strategies to getting by on $15. Pitcher Darryl Rogue says he takes advantage of breakfast buffets and lets that carry him
through the day until he gets to the ballpark and the clubhouse spread. How well has this strategy worked? He says he's lost 15 pounds this
season.
Another strategy is to sleep as late as possible, skip breakfast, catch a ride to any restaurant where you can use the phrase "super-size it," then turn the pre- and post-game spread into dinner.
|  | | The most popular pregame spread in the minors consists of the following ingredients: PB&J. |
"I slept in and ate lunch at Taco Bell and that's like $6," Lombardi said. "Sometimes you can eat through your money pretty quick, and sometimes you don't. It's not the best way to go about it, but it's not that bad."
The third strategy is to simply give in to your stomach and blow the budget. "I had the hotel buffet this morning and it was good, but it was $15," Seaver said. "I've spent $33 already today."
If you have visions of an NFL training camp spread in the clubhouse, think again. Manager Bob Flori could tip over the spread table in anger and barely make a mess that requires a janitor.
The Diamonds' lavish pregame spread is usually peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The postgame spread ranges in quality and quantity from game to game and stadium to stadium. They had roast beef after Sunday's game, chicken wings after Tuesday's and pizza after Wednesday's 13-4 loss to the Long Island Ducks.
They don't see a lot of fish or fruit on the postgame table. Sometimes, there isn't enough food to go around, either. Play a long game in the withering summer heat, and you definitely don't want to be the last person in line.
|  | | After scarfing down a sandwich or two, the Black Diamonds prepare to take the field. |
All this isn't that unusual in the minors, though. The Northern League gives its players even less meal money ($15 prior to clubhouse fees), and Tovar says peanut butter sandwiches are the universal pregame meal at the minor league level. Lefty reliever David Carroll has played in five big-league organizations plus the independent Western League and says Lehigh's situation is little different from the others.
Catcher Jason Torres played for the Savannah Sand Gnats, the Texas Rangers' Class A affiliate, last summer, and he said the team provided no spread whatsoever. Players had to buy their food at the concession stand. At full price. One hot dog and soda per game would put a player in debt until his fourth year in the majors.
So the players don't complain that much. They've been around and they know the way it works in the minors.
"The secret to making your meal money last is to stay out of strip joints," lefty reliever Mike Martini said. "Those guys charge $8 for a drink."
ESPN.com senior writer Jim Caple is spending this week on the road with the Lehigh Valley Black Diamonds. Page 2 will send out its personal trainer if he actually gets into a game. Send this story to a friend | Most sent stories
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