Something to chew on
By Jim Caple
Page 2 columnist

A look back at the past week for the fan who just can't believe all the stuff going on in modern sports ...

Sunday Monday
Tiger Woods (pictured) won his third Masters and seventh major after a dramatic 15th hole when he walked on water instead of using the Sarazen Bridge and then phoned Phil Mickelson to ask whether his refrigerator was running ... Barry Bonds left San Francisco's game early because of a sore hamstring and an emergency meeting of the Justice League of America ... NASCAR barred Kevin Harvick from racing for a gross violation of car etiquette by driving with too few U.S. flags on his antennae. Memorabilia madness hit when Internet auctions yielded $10,000 for Luis Gonzalez's game-used bubblegum, $450,000 for a round of golf with Tiger and $4 million to meet Tiger's girlfriend, Elin Nordegren (pictured) ... Alex Rodriguez filed his tax return just before the deadline, with his accountant Arthur Andersen claiming that he earned only $15,000 while hitting 75 home runs in 2001 ... A Georgia woman won the $331 million Big Game lottery and said she isn't sure how it will affect her plans to live a quiet life or sign Fresno State quarterback David Carr.

Tuesday Wednesday
Chuck Finley (pictured) and the Cleveland Indians filed restraining orders barring Tawny Kitaen and AL Central opponents from coming with three games of them ... The Detroit Tigers won their first game of season and ended an 11-game losing streak by beating the Lions ... Tiger announced he would not play in this week's WorldCom Classic, saying he would prefer to stay home, relax and turn water into wine. A discouraged Colin Powell (pictured) returned from a failed peace summit, saying he is unable to see any possible solution to the decades-old dispute between YES and Cablevision ... The Vancouver Canucks opened the Stanley Cup playoffs by beating the Tigers ... The White Sox fired an employee for broadcasting a Whitesnake song once while Finley was on the field and for playing *NSync's "Bye, Bye, Bye" repeatedly during batting practice ... Tiger called Mickelson, asking him whether he had Prince Albert in the can.

Thursday Stat of the week
With the regular season over, NBA commissioner David Stern held a secret meeting to go over how the league is going to screw the Bucks during this year's playoffs ... After police arrested has-been Robert Blake (pictured) in connection with the murder of his wife, O.J. Simpson announced he would not rest until he found the real killer or broke par, whichever comes first ... Bonds revealed that he has a slight tear in his hamstring but will be all right as long as he stays clear of kryptonite ... Tiger took a two-stroke lead in the U.S. Open. For the $10,000 that Curt Mueller paid for Luis Gonzalez's (pictured) used chewing gum Monday, you could buy 972 shares of the Topps bubblegum and baseball card company.

Jim Caple is a senior writer for



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