As nicknames go, Pedro Martinez could do better than Typhoid Mary.

The pharyngitis -- an inflammation of the pharynx -- which felled both Martinez and Manny Ramirez in the heat of baseball's pennant race has so far been contained, but the people of Boston -- and indeed, the entire East Coast -- are not yet out of the woods. Forget SARS or West Nile Virus, this could be the epidemic that brings a region to its knees.

And anyone who saw the movie "Outbreak" knows two things: Dustin Hoffman is capable of seriously overacting, and infectious disease is no laughing -- or even mildly entertaining -- matter. We asked the folks at the Centers for Disease Control headquarters in Atlanta for the full rundown on pharyngitis. They never got back to us, but we've seen enough episodes of "Scrubs" to offer up a quick tutorial as a service to concerned Page 2 readers.

	Maybe Manny got pharyngitis from all the yelling and screaming?

Residents of Boston should be alert for the following symptoms:

Symptom No. 1: Uncontrollable choking

Description: Perhaps the most dangerous of symptoms for Boston residents, as it could be easily confused with the annual choking endemic to the city in September -- especially the area around Fenway Park. A viral infection caused by microorganisms like Group A streptococcus, corynebacterium, arcanobacterium and steinbrennobacterium, pharyngitis may lead to difficulty breathing, swallowing and protecting leads. Those afflicted should not engage in strenuous activity, including driving, jogging and playing first base in the late innings of a World Series game.

Symptom No. 2: Dehydration

Description: As with any such virus, pharyngitis robs the body of much-needed fluids. Untreated, this could lead to death or worse: up to and including the consumption of SoBe beverages. To avoid such serious consequences, anyone exhibiting symptoms should rehydrate at regular intervals. Non-alcoholic beverages are recommended, but make due with what's available in a pinch. For example, should you happen to live in a hotel, find yourself unable to reach room service and have a .220-hitting infielder offering to buy you a few rounds, roll with it. Staying hydrated is the most important part of battling the virus and should not be overlooked in favor of any other activity -- including sleep.

Symptom No. 3: Paranoia

Description: Sufferers may exhibit signs of acute paranoia and delusions of persecution. These symptoms may manifest themselves in the form of a belief on the part of the victim that everyone around them is out to get them. Anyone suffering from the illness should avoid listening to talk radio or making any critical decisions -- such as opting out of a contract to pursue professional options in Cleveland or Baltimore. Interaction with the media should be avoided at all costs -- unless the contact involves confined spaces, shared food and beverages and a good chance of lethal contamination.

Symptom No. 4: Disorientation and Lethargy

Description: Pharyngitis may lead to a rapid loss of energy, coinciding with a simultaneous decline in mental processing. Symptoms may develop quickly and come and go at random intervals. Those suffering from pharyngitis should not attempt to operate heavy machinery and may have difficulty with such normally menial activities as remembering the number of outs or taking the correct route to a fly ball. Employers are advised to give employees regular days off if it's felt they may be at risk of a relapse.

Symptom No. 5: Headaches

Description: Along with fever and nausea, headaches are among the most commons symptoms of pharyngitis. Interestingly, these headaches don't appear to be limited to those infected by the virus. Medical research on the subject is in short supply, but there are theories the virus causes headaches in otherwise healthy individuals. Most often, these individuals find themselves in regular contact with the infected, often through workplace interaction. Unfortunately, evidence suggests those afflicted will continue causing headaches long after the virus is gone.

If you or someone you know exhibit any of these symptoms, seek medical care immediately. Even if you've just awakened and your team has an important game scheduled for the afternoon.

	Maybe the Phillies somehow contracted pharyngitis from all Larry Bowa's yelling and screaming?

And with the Red Sox on a road trip that includes Chicago, New York and Baltimore, residents of other major metropolitan areas should remain vigilant, as pharyngitis is highly contagious. Indeed, there is some evidence the disease is already on the move and causing panic.

Officials in Philadelphia are considering quarantining the entire Philadelphia Phillies bullpen at the request of manager Larry Bowa. When reached for comment, Bowa answered cryptically, "What the hell is pharyngitis? I just told them the bullpen was making me sick to my stomach, and they ought to be put out of their misery." It's not yet clear if the disease may have spread among Phillies players during the middle innings of Monday's collapse against the Red Sox.

The New York Mets are investigating whether the disease may have originally hit their clubhouse this spring and remained dormant in Red Sox players until cool September weather provided a suitable breeding ground for the microorganisms. It's the best theory yet as to why players like Tom Glavine, Al Leiter, Roberto Alomar and Roger Cedeno were so awful for the first half of the season.

Concerned that overwork may leave his players more susceptible to infection, Chicago Cubs manager Dusty Baker is considering putting young pitchers Kerry Wood and Mark Prior on strict 150-pitch pitch counts for their remaining starts. Although exceptions could be made in the event of a close game, or if Baker is just busy debating the merits of reproduction with Tony LaRussa.

New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner is petitioning Bud Selig to alter the rules for Friday's game against the Red Sox, if Boston insists on starting Pedro Martinez. The Yankees would like Martinez to pitch from behind second base, to reduce the risk of airborne infection. The team dropped a similar request that Manny Ramirez bat from the on-deck circle and now merely want him to wear a bubble suit at the plate.

On a more sinister note, New York Rangers general manager and coach Glen Sather is supposedly looking at obtaining samples of the virus, in hopes of recouping some of the money spent on Eric Lindros.

Graham Hays writes 'Out of the Box,' the inside scoop on yesterday's box scores, five days a week.