What's in the stars for superstars?
By Andrea Mallis
Special to Page 2

Editor's Note: So, you think astrology is all a bunch of hooey. You place no faith in the stars. In your book, it's all nonsense -- just like crystal balls and Tarot cards and Johnny Carson's old "Carnac the Magnificent" routine.

Well, before you dismiss astrology altogether, we'd like you to read what Page 2's astrology expert Andrea Mallis predicted for Kobe Bryant in her 2003 forecast:

"Born on the Leo/Virgo cusp, 'Mr. Eccentric,' the youngest All-Star in NBA history, will be getting even more flashy in 2003," Mallis wrote in an article published Jan. 2, 2003, on Page 2. "How does a year of sudden, unpredictable change sound? His task will be to adapt as best as possible. Consumed with a desire for independence, he's more impulsive and excitable. This is a year of fluctuation and perpetual far-out behavior."

OK, now that we've got your attention, we'd like you to check out Mallis' predictions for 2004. Here's what she says the stars hold for several Page 2 favorites, including LeBron James, Paris Hilton, George Steinbrenner, Michael Jackson, and, of course, Kobe Bryant.

LeBron James
Can LeBron discover his untapped energy in 2004?

LeBron James, Industrious Capricorn, Dec. 30, 1984

Proclaimed as the second coming of Michael Jordan, this 19-year-old rookie phenom was a man among boys in high school. LeBron James entered his first full season as the centerpiece of the Cavaliers facing an endurance test, especially mid-February through April. He should shield himself from possible harm. Cautionary vibes are needed to avoid sudden disruption. LeBron is under more stress than usual, and so must avoid any action that could lead to unexpected mishap. Bursting with energy, there's greater initiative in business. With fresh spirit infused, he discovers overwhelming, untapped energy.

Bill Parcells, Commanding Leo, Aug. 22, 1941

"Mr. Disciplinarian" is a no-nonsense Leo with a sharp, analytical Virgo mind and a Midas touch with quarterbacks. The clean-cut, former West Point coach and makeover specialist enjoys the recognition his status confers. Utilizing psychology, "The Freud of Football" motivates. This year, communication takes an unpredictable twist for Bill. Thrown into the defensive, he can expect even more thin-skinned meddles with the media. As the mind works overtime, watch for impulsive decision-making. A likely financial bonus next fall rewards a challenging summer and balances the score. Although it's the rather dictatorial Leo "My Way or the Highway" with the Tuna, he's the first coach to get four different teams into postseason play.

Curt Schilling, Inquiring Scorpio, Nov. 14, 1966

Master of control Curt Schilling keeps track of every pitch, meticulously taking notes between innings and virtually creating his own Tendu system. Formerly a crucial element of the "Schilling and Johnson and pray for rain" mantra, he will now galvanize the Red Sox' pitching rotation. His battles with Questec showed quintessential Scorpio fervor. Sustained by an incredible work ethic, Curt offers a one-two Scorpion punch that echoes fellow zealot Pedro. The Red Sox represent a fresh challenge, like the revitalizing red Corvette. A bundle of energy this summer, with drive and good fortune, Curt is hell-bent on Series success.

Kobe Bryant
Will Kobe sustain the jam he got himself into in '03?

Kobe Bryant, Egocentric Leo/Reserved Virgo, Aug. 23, 1978

It's all about Saturn, the cosmic cop, for Leo/Virgo cusp Kobe in 2004. Blend the arrogance of Leo and the reclusiveness of Virgo, and enigmatic Kobe is in a cycle of intense ego conflict and suppressed rage. With power thwarted, the potential for injuries increases. Misguided aggression carries over into his relationship with wife Vanessa. Actions meet with resistance, but Kobe sustains the jam. Called to task for destructive behaviors with women and faced with sexual assault charges, he's becoming more withdrawn and vulnerable. It's an unfavorable cycle for finance, as his tarnished image scorched the endorsement well. Life is fraught with instability, as best-made plans go awry. Though the verdict isn't in, opportunity may revisit Kobe by the end of 2004.

Alex Rodriguez, Lionized Leo, July 27, 1975

Dynamic Leo A-Rod had 252 million reasons to be happy, but was he?! Baseball's poor little rich boy wanted it all -- incredible wealth plus the Leo pride of playing for a winner. Leos crave the spotlight, but the lights were muted in Texas. When trade negotiations with the Red Sox mired in the Mercury retrograde (communication snafus), it looked like extravagant MVP A-Rod made his cosmic bed. Heading into his Saturn Return this summer, he continues to prioritize objectives. This soul-searching karmic phase happens to us all around age 29. Guided to relinquish that which no longer supports life goals, it might be the year to end ineffectual situations. Perhaps another trade opportunity is in the offing for A-Rod.

Peyton Manning, Aries Golden Boy, March 24, 1976

This energetic Aries, a No. 1 draft pick with a fifth straight 4,000-yard passing season, has been left at the altar twice! Placing second in Heisman votes, coupled with his college team winning the championship the year after he left, proves timing is everything. 2004 is propitious for Peyton's dreams to materialize. Given a good balance of assertion and flexibility, breakthroughs are imminent. Destiny beckons, as he reaps rewards of the past and perceives his purpose. Doors open to an event that will change the future. Perhaps the "big game" can finally be won.

Maurice Clarett, Manipulative Scorpio, Oct. 29, 1983

Scorpio is a powerful sign; no other sign is as potent for good or evil. Scorpios make ruthless enemies. They need to keep their integrity high, lest they fall into undesirable behaviors. Enter scheming Scorpio Maurice Clarett -- charged with misdemeanor falsification regarding stolen goods and receiving preferential treatment on a test. While spinning an elaborate web of deception, he got stung. He now attempts to upset everything on a malevolent power trip. Typical of unevolved Scorpio, he turned vindictive, suing the NFL on their junior eligibility draft rule. This one-time Heisman Trophy candidate is one scorned Scorpio! Should he steer clear of annihilating activities, Maurice's forecast may brighten.

Paris Hilton
Too bad the prediction for 2004 isn't "Please go away."

Paris Hilton, Erratic Aquarius, Feb. 17, 1981

When you're eccentric Aquarius wild-child Paris the Heiress, "The Simple Life" is anything but. Raised on room service, this flashy Leo moon playgirl proved there's nothing sacred in bedroom drama. Magnetically attractive, yet detached and cool, Paris embodies the Aquarian mystery. Throwing caution to the wind comes naturally with a sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll Pisces Mars. 2004 bestows peculiar aspects to Venus (planet of love) -- it's the romance transit par excellence. Impressionable as ever, she's an easy target for exploitation in matters of the heart. Feeling used and desperate to be taken seriously, she reassesses strategy. Filthy rich, but pitifully poor in judgment, priceless lessons are learned when the fog finally lifts.

Pete Rose, Overbearing Aries, April 14, 1941

Fire sign Aries is aggressive, impulsive and muscular -- the stuff of heroes. Alas, it's also the sign of the bully. I witnessed "Charlie Hustle" of Cincy's Big Red Machine as he barreled into slight Mets shortstop Bud Harrelson at Shea Stadium during the '73 playoffs, inciting a melee. Those fearless head-first slides are so Aries the Ram. Yet, Pete's stellar credentials speak for themselves. He's whacked more hits than anyone! Banned for life for betting on baseball in 1989, Pete wants out of the "Hall of Shame." Delay doesn't mean denial to persistent Pete. He needs to guard against those who still undermine his reputation. Though more scandals lie ahead as entanglements cloud hopes, Pete's patience pays off.

Ashton Kutcher, Gregarious Aquarius, Feb. 7, 1978

Rebellious Aquarius Ashton rejects conformity and prefers to stand out in appearance and behavior. His penchant for older women is deviant Aquarian progressiveness at its best. Contrary Aquarians like to reverse the status quo. This year enthralling Venus aspects deepen his existing liaison with Demi Moore. To this unconventional and anarchistic star, things are far more emotional at the core. Capable of great devotion and intimacy, his passions run high. While favored in financial dealings, he accrues large amounts of money. Ashton's inimitable star continues to shine.

Britney Spears, Buoyant Sagittarius, Dec. 2, 1981

Home and family takes center stage for this generous pop princess. Her glamorous glow keeps on going, while idealistic Britney makes creative changes in both her personal and professional life. Sudden opportunities enable her to move in radical directions. Enjoying the freedom that comes with change, she finally follows her heart. An important teacher may enter stage right, tapping into talents she never knew existed. While this summer is a high point for love and money, the fall provides a reality check regarding extravagant spending and superfluous affairs. Should tensions arise as ambitions are furthered, care must be taken to prevent Spears' over-bearing air.

George Steinbrenner
"Dreadful slump?" Yankee-haters everywhere can only hope ...

George Steinbrenner, Cantankerous Cancer, July 4, 1930

Troubles abound for this brooding Cancer in 2004. The Yankees were the only team to get slapped with an $11.82 million luxury tax, resulting from an overstuffed $184 million payroll. King George also received a subpoena investigating free tickets to public officials. His recent fainting spell foreshadows precarious health and future meltdowns. This summer when Saturn (planet of limitation) connects, he's hamstrung by the results of past actions. Feeling abandoned by loved ones, it's a heavy, restrictive period -- a dreadful slump. Reducing Zimmer to a tearful departure, the Yankees continue their eggshell walk, as touchy George's tolerance level tumbles to an all-time low. When he realizes money can't buy love or World Championships, see George seethe like a volcano set to erupt!

George W. Bush, Patriotic Cancer, July 6, 1946

2004 is not an easy year for tenacious Cancers. This June tests W's ability to stay cool. With Saturn (planet of limitation) omnipresent, he's more restricted than usual, whether through an extra work load or dealing with the consequences of past events and decisions. This summer heralds Bush's second Saturn Return at age 58, casting a serious pall. Also in the mix is a combative Mars aspect, characteristic of hasty reaction. Feeling more aggressive and abrupt, pronouncements may be made without proper forethought -- and later regretted. Temperance in all matters is key. Above all, the President must moderate his bellicose urge to take drastic steps when arguments or confrontations occur.

Michael Jackson, Irrational Virgo, Aug. 29, 1958

Grooving to the Jackson 5 in the '70s, it seems unfathomable how Michael morphed into this current ghoul. Virgo's relentless obsession with perfection has taken the man of many faces to the point of no return. With nerves negatively tuned, he can resist anything but temptation. With Venus (love) next to Uranus (rebellion), he remains an eternal child, indulging an odd predilection for young boys. Fortunately, Pluto (inevitable transformation) has seen enough -- to the tune of seven counts of alleged child molestation. It's an intervention with karmic reckoning. Michael's Pisces moon is confused, ungrounded, and martyred. Sudden events challenge his sense of self. Lost and disillusioned, suffering emotionally and physically, situations arise that force the embattled king of pop to face fears in this downward spiral.

Andrea Mallis is a sports astrologer and writer who's appeared on ESPN SportsCenter, "Baseball Tonight," and ESPN All Night Radio. She's the astrologer on "Extra Innings," the Oakland A's postgame radio show. She also contributes columns to most Major League Baseball magazines and mlb.com's "Left Field." To let Andrea guide you with your game, check out www.virgoinservice.com or e-mail her at andrea@virgoinservice.com.


Part I: Sex & Sports, 2003

Part II: Sex & Sports, 2003

Caple: The year that wasn't

The List: Best lists of 2003

Jim Caple's 2003 Sports Quiz

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