The pride of Yonkers.

What the heck was the man who assaulted David Wells thinking when he was found guilty of punching the Yankees pitcher and knocking out two of his teeth?

A. "I sure hope Steinbrenner's crackdown on dental insurance doesn't affect pitchers."

B. "Is gout contagious?"

C. "Come on, everyone gets at least two hits off David Wells."

D. "Look at the guy. Like missing two teeth would keep him from eating."

E. "Can I at least keep his teeth to sell on eBay?"

F. "I hit him in the gut 10 times and he didn't even know I was there."