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| Friday, February 9 | |||||
| A partnership to worry mankind Special to ESPN.com | |||||
In case you missed it, the Yankees and soccer powerhouse Manchester United
announced a partnership this week that pairs the two most successful clubs
in sports. The two teams will exchange marketing information, offer combined
sponsorship packages and sell merchandise at each others' outlets.
That's right. The Yankees and Manchester United, the Sodom and Gomorrah of
professional sports, are now global partners. Where is Judge Thomas Penfield
Jackson when you need him?
The announcement means there no longer are any borders remaining in Jim
McKay's ever-narrowing wide world of sports. Like computer viruses capable
of spreading worldwide in a matter of mere hours, the Yankees' plague no
longer will be contained to North America. Now, England and, indeed, all
Europe are at the mercy of the Yankees' marketing and arrogance. It is the greatest
threat to international sports since the IOC approved synchronized swimming
as an Olympic event.
Following the stunning announcement, the Euro plunged to an all-time low
against the dollar while German chancellor Gerhard Schroeder called for the
rebuilding of the Berlin Wall. The continent's only hope may be piping in
Florida Marlins' broadcasts over Radio Free Europe.
And the threat may be even greater for Americans. If this deal works out the
way the teams envision, we may have to watch some soccer games.
Is this partnership another bold and innovative move by a baseball franchise
that earlier made landmark local broadcast and sponsorship deals? Or yet
another example of the Yankees widening their revenue streams through a deal
that is far beyond the capability of other clubs?
Frankly, I'm unclear as to how much this partnership is going to help the
Yankees find a second baseman who can throw the ball to first base. Even if
there suddenly is a crying demand for Scott Brosius replica jerseys in the
British Isles, that increased merchandise revenue has to be divided nearly equally among all 30 major-league teams, thereby benefiting the Royals as much as
the Yankees.
Then again, what do I know about international business? My own financial
world has been gripped in a deep recession since I forgot my PIN number to
the cash machine.
Still, as a sophisticated student of history and culture, I can
confidently tell you that whenever arch-villains the stature of Dr. Doom
and Magneto combine forces, you better lock the doors, pull up the covers
and make sure your insurance premiums are paid in full.
It isn't just the Yankees and Manchester United, though. Remember, the
Yankees already have joint operations with the New Jersey Nets and New Jersey
Devils. Next thing you know, the group will buy out Notre Dame football and
North Carolina basketball. I have no doubt that the Yankees and Manchester
United partnership will seize control of Canada and Microsoft by the
All-Star break.
If you're not worried by the long-term prospects of this deal, just think of N'Sync partnering up with the Backstreet Boys.
And if that image doesn't scare you, consider the possibility of a fan
exchange program between the Yankees and Manchester United, with the most
notorious, vulgar and violent fans in all sports crossing the Atlantic,
creating widescale havoc, disrupting games, destroying private property and
crushing opposing fans against barriers until they lose consciousness.
Why, if that happens, those Brits will be longing for the days when they
were plagued only by soccer hooligans.
Jim Caple of Seattle Post-Intelligencer is a regular contributor to ESPN.com's baseball coverage. Send this story to a friend | ALSO SEE Mega-marketing merger: Manchester, Yankees unite | ||||