| | | Jermaine Dye and Neifi Perez are off the rack, and the wheeling and dealing will only increase as the July 31 trade deadline nears.
Check out today's "Meat Market" classified ads -- our listings of what fans are willing to unload from their favorite ballclubs and what they're looking for in return.
But before hitting the market, you might want to bid on today's featured item. Click here to make an offer for Jose Cruz Jr..
Featured ad of the day
 BLUE JAYS FAN willing to part with a more than competent OF. This versatile switch-hitting speedster is good for 25 bombs and 100 RBI a year. Jose Cruz Jr.. is solid and still improving!! Seeking an addition to a skimpy rotation in return. Looking for a No. 2 starter (Astacio) or a No. 3 (Halama) plus a prospect. Hey, M's ... Jose enjoys listening to rain, snuggling through a storm, and playful jaunts through puddles!
| AMERICAN LEAGUE LISTINGS |
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A'S FAN willing to sell my soul for someone to buy the A's and treat this budding dynasty with a little bit of respect. Someone who isn't a total skinflint, who won't run around behind the back of the front office trying to move the team, or sell off it's assets in the name of "fiscal responsibility" (they already have one of the lowest payrolls in baseball...). While I'm at it, I'll sell the soul of my girlfriend to get some politicians in Oakland who will actually try to nurture a
positive relationship with the organization. And, and, just to make it really interesting, I'll sell the soul of my mother and my father to get a new downtown stadium so we don't have to go to Mt. Davis anymore. So, to recap: four souls for a new owner(s), a new stadium in downtown Oakland, and new politicians who realize the value of this fine and upstanding team.
INDIANS FAN eager to part with temperamental LHP, possessed with a live arm among the best in the league, also comes with a clubhouse attitude among the best in the prison system. Your PR department will boom with this addition. In exchange for John Rocker will accept anyone capable of pitching more than six innings and/or keeping his team in the ballgame (ERA under 6.00 required). Will settle for accomplished ballboy. Failing that, will settle for unaccomplished ballboy.
TIGERS FAN able and willing to trade a proven All-Star closer and/or a veteran speedy OF. Yes, it is no secret that Roger Cedeno is looking to sign a heftier contract, one the Tigers are not willing to provide. However, no team can look past Todd Jones, a 2000 All-Star closer, who was second in the saves last year. We want a proven starting pitcher and a slugging outfielder in return. Act now, don't lose out on two quality players.
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WHITE SOX FAN looking for a naive, albeit, nurturing household, complete with kegorator and state of the art sound system -- perfect for piping Metallica -- to care for scruffy LHP David Wells. Some body damage, back has minor dents, but willing to pay for repairs. May not be able to pitch, but he can hide, among other things, discontent and groin pain in that loveable goatee. Looking for a veteran pitcher or catcher but willing to accept a sack of peanuts and a lukewarm Zima, or first best offer.
RED SOX FAN looking to dump promising young rookies in exchange for mediocre, aging, former talent to take the blame for the inevitable September collapse. Would prefer high-priced veterans who have had at most one fluke good year. Last year alone we accepted Mike Lansing, Ed Sprague, Bernard Gilkey, and Rico Brogna, and this year we're even more desperate! We're also on the market for aging pitchers who have blown out their arms Is Steve Avery still available?
TWINS FAN: Are you afraid that your contending team will make a bad stretch-run trade? If your answer is yes, the Minnesota Twins organization has the perfect solution for you in GM Terry Ryan. With Terry in charge of personnel, you can be assured that absolutely no attempts of any kind will be made to augment your squad. Terry comes complete with the exclusive "Minor League Hotline" that can be used to call up young pitchers from within your system regardless of major league readiness. We would rather not accept extra payroll at this time, but we will be happy to consider a deal for a new stadium. Call now, this one won't last!
YANKEES FAN Willing to sell soul and wife for another bat and the deportation of Ichiro to ensure another title.
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YANKEES FAN looking to acquire power hitting, consistent 1B and LF (pay attention, you Bay Area teams). Are willing to deal the hot-hitting Tino Martinez, top minor league prospects (like Nick Johnson), and one of many LFs we have. Also willing to part with veteran 3B who can bring leadership, fielding and even flashes of great power to any team. Giambi, Bonds, pinstripes always seem to be in for the fall. Imagine winning that ring you've been searching for all those years! NY is the place to be!
ROYALS FAN willing to have a fire sale for all of our talent. Our General Manager Allard Baird is looking to unload anybody that makes more than $500,000. That means Jermaine Dye, Mike Sweeney, Joe Randa, Carlos Beltran and anybody else that has talent must go. We'll also give up our best young talent, such as Kris Wilson and Chad Durbin. In exchange, we'll entertain any offers for washed-up players that are hitting .230. Why are we doing this? Because it seems to be the way of the world in Kansas City every year around the trading deadline. We don't want to build for the future, we just want the fans to look forward to Chiefs football.
MARINERS FAN willing to take away another superstar from an Expos fan. In return for your wonderful LF, Vlady Guerrero, we'll give to you the amazing John Halama, who threw a perfect game this year! He says he gets nervous when he pitches in the majors, because of the big crowds. Well, Montreal would be the perfect fit! He wouldn't have a thing to worry about! We'll also throw in a great young LHP named Brian Fuentes! He'll baffle hitters with his fantastic windup! Also we'll give you Brett Tomko, who threw a no-hitter this year!
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| NATIONAL LEAGUE LISTINGS |
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BRAVES FAN in search of a big bat 1B and a reliable middle
infielder who is willing to relocate to Hotlanta promptly.
Will give up Marcus Giles, Brian Jordan and Mark DeRosa. We'd love to flirt with Oakland, Cleveland, and Colorado. Giles is a master with the glove, and a future .290-.300 hitter. DeRosa is batting .300, and Jordan is hitting over .280 and on pace for over 25 HRs and 70 RBI. You will also get a complimentary Leo Mazzone bobblehead doll with lifelike rocking motion. Surnames Giambi, McGriff and Galarraga are all very attractive. We are a very family-oriented organization, so please bring your wives, kids ... or brother!! Salary will depend on performance
CARDINALS FAN willing to part with overpriced and underachieving veterans with habit for laying down for divisional rivals during playoff chase. Available big names include Ray Lankford and Edgar Renteria. Seeking younger players with qualities such as "heart," "guts," and "desire to play as if it matters to them." Also available: veteran manager with magical ability to turn talent and money into overwhelming mediocrity. Deluxe edition comes with attached pitching coach.
GIANTS FAN will part with experienced LF with HOF talents and easily chantable name. Comes with power bat, and doesn't mess around with things like singles. Doesn't wear himself out doing things like running to escape DPs or chasing flyballs. May crack under pressure, so be sure to make him as comfortable as possible. Willing to let him go for someone young. Add a leadoff hitter, get Shawn Estes free.
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GIANTS FAN Do you have a .300+ hitter that can pop 30 homers a year with decent legs? Must be able to play RF (CF a plus). Will consider any future or present All-Star-caliber player, especially if cheap. In exchange the Giants will provide you with an overpaid, non-flashy left-handed batter who could bat .300 during his best year and maybe dong 20 homers. Warning: He is no gold glove or all star: Marvin Bernard will be given as is with a big contract and no warranty. If required to complete the deal, a good young but inconsistent lefty (Shawn Estes) could be yours.
CUBS FAN willing to mortgage soul for a Cubbie appearance in the 2001 World Series. Soul comes neatly packaged in a body resembling that of Mark Grace, if he weighed 235 lbs., sans the pack-a-day smoking habit (except on weekends). Bats right, throws right, drinks everything, with both hands. Soul, pending a few good confessions, is currently optioned to the majors, but in exchange for said Cub appearance in the World Series will accept demotion to any minor league location. Has no problem playing in hellish temperatures, although purchaser must stipulate to the fact that such temps will be hard to come by once the Cubs make it to the fall classic and hell freezes over. Only serious offers will be entertained.
DIAMONDBACKS FAN in search of young, athletic, hard-throwing, sensitive, right-handed starter. Would be willing to part with the highest paid pinch runner in baseball (SS Tony Womack) and prospects. Would also like to have another tall, strapping right-handed power hitter in the lineup, preferably a RF. Would also be willing to part with a Reggie Sanders and Steve Finley for fun-loving romantics who can hit fastballs thrown at over 90 mph.
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PHILLIES PHANATIC willing to trade young LHP who was a former Brave farmhand. This starter has the potential to be better than Andy Ashby, the man he was traded for. I am talking about Bruce Chen, who the Phillies have sent to AA. Looking for a veteran starter to lead the young guns, or a solid middle reliever. Help the Phils become an NL East champ not named the Braves.
REDS FAN willing to trade 2B Pokey Reese and catcher Jason LaRue and pitcher Pete Harnisch along with future considerations ($$$) for All-Star pitcher Randy Johnson. Will also pay for a $100k renovation of Tropicana Field.
METS FAN CLEARANCE SALE! Two veteran corner infielders, a defensive whiz, a veteran lefty and more middle relief than we know what to do with could all be yours! Hurry, limited no-trade clauses limit the amount of teams these players are available to! Willing to trade playoff veterans Todd Zeile and Robin Ventura to contender. You will get leadership and experience for your stretch run. Also, LHP Al Leiter available to select teams. Take your pick of Turk Wendell, Rick White, John Franco, Dennis Cook and Armando Benitez. Willing to accept prospects or productive outfielders in return. Need to lower payroll to be contenders in Barry Bonds Sweepstakes. Also, will take anything for Rey "If you play in the AL, your pitcher should bat" Ordonez.
ATTENTION SHOPPERS! Have we got a deal for you!! Looking for a SP to push into the playoffs?? Well, look no further, because we have Sterling Hitchcock and Woody Williams. Looking in return for a young corner OF, or a corner IF with power (paging Toronto and Arizona); in return you get an innings eater and a NLCS MVP. Act now!!! Limited quantity. And the way Williams is pitching, limited quality, too!
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