| | | Check out today's "Meat Market" classified ads -- our listings of what fans are willing to unload from their favorite ballclubs and what they're looking for in return.
But before hitting the market, you might want to bid on today's featured item.
Featured ad of the day
 ROCKIES FAN Willing to part with a hard-throwing RHP. Perennial league leader in Ks Pedro Astacio was a 17-game winner in '99, and recently tossed a three-hit shutout making him a fine addition to the staff of just about any postseason contender. He'd prove especially helpful to Boston or Cleveland during wild-card race. Seeking in a power-hitting OF who's not afraid of heights or a starter not intimidated by the stat-spanking Coors Field.
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MARINERS FAN Will part with entire farm system for a World Series guarantee. I am looking for a fast power-hitting LF who doesn't mind a little rain prefers flourescent lighting to natural sunshine. We have a brand new field and play outdoors. Will consider anyone that played for us in the past that was traded using rock, paper, scissors decision technique. P.S. we would really like to have you back, Randy. We're sorry about the whole contract thing and will rename the stadium as well as every first born in the state of Washington after you, please come back.
RED SOX FAN willing to part with a reliever with more than 264 saves (including 51 in one year). Rod Beck comes with a mullet, some gum, a great nickname, and the ex-Cub factor built in. Doesn't give up many singles, only the occasionally frequent home run when leading by a run. Seeking a reliable middle reliever or bat boy in return. Warning, do not use in the eighth inning.
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ORIOLES FAN will part with the key ingredients of a World Series champ. I know many of you contenders are looking for a guy who can hit. Well, Jeff Conine is the man for you. And not only can he hit but he can also play 1B, 3B, and OF. Melvin Mora, Brook Fordyce, David Segui, and Mike Bordick are also available. Any of these guys would be a terrific complement to a contender off the bench, platooning, or taking over the starting job. Will accept any player with power and ability to put up with a meddlesome owner. Anything, even 10 home runs will be appreciated, young big-league ready OF, or pitcher too. Speaking of pitching, Jose Mercedes, Mike Trombley (having an outstanding season), Buddy Groom, and many others are available if the price is right. This special offer will provide family 4pack of tickets to Cal's last home game aaand Al Belle and Brady Anderson absolutely FREE!
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TWINS FAN urges you to consider making a deal for setup man Bob Wells and closer LaTroy Hawkins. Do your fans ever get bored sitting in the stands during an 8-3 win for the home team. Well, Smilin' Carl Pohlad and Terry Ryan have a deal for you. At any price, this duo won't last long. Forget about the dog days of summer, with Wells on the hill, an 8-3 yawnfest will quickly turn into an 8-5 or 8-6 thriller. He gives up two-run homers with impunity. And, in an 8-3 game, Wells' performance opens the door for Hawkins. With the score 8-5, Hawkins will gladly walk the leadoff hitter and give up a smash single to the next hitter, leaving men on first and third with nobody out. Fret not, Hawkins will get out of this mess and your fans will leave the park after watching a delightful 8-6 ballgame. Disclaimer: Despite being in first place most of the season, the Twins have tested the Wells/Hawkins combination with only 20,000 fans a night and we are not sure how they would react to a major-league crowd.
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LONELY EXPOS FAN willing to give up a closer and some great pitching prospects in exchange for the opportunity to have a crowd of more than 5,000 people. Red Sox, you listening, B.Y.O.F. We cordially invite Bostonians for the weekend. If that is too much to ask, we're also interested in some A class hitting prospects for use in the dispersal draft in 2002. All offers welcome ... sorry Vidro and Guerrero are not for sale, we have to have some dignity left until the end of the year, what do you take us for, Devil Rays fans? Special Bonus! First three offers get free Expo tickets for you and the family ... Yes you have to take them.
PADRES FAN Looking to dump some salary in the form of two workhorse hurlers for younger players. SP Sterling Hitchcock has a great personality and loves outdoor activities. He's a Big Game pitcher, wonderful in '98 for the Padres and has had two good starts since coming off arm surgery. SP Woody Williams is trustworthy and reliable to go seven innings every outing and will keep your team in the game. Looking for a SS who can flash some leather, and a batting average over .250 would be greatly appreciated.
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REDS FAN willing to part with slightly overpaid perennial Gold Glove 2B/SS. He could be yours now for the low, introductory price of a starting pitcher who can work for more than six innings and strike out more people than they walk (shipping and handling not included). The aforementioned pitching may be established veterans, minor-league prospects, or young rookies that you are willing to part with (are you reading this, Dodgers?). Supply is very limited. Offer void where prohibited. Warning: Side effects include offensive immaturity, sudden outbursts (i.e. if removed from a game for a pinch hitter), and a hat that never seems to be on straight.
ASTROS FAN looking for reliable starting pitcher to push into the playoffs. Someone with a pulse preferred. Willing to trade hard-hitting super slugger Daryle Ward, last seen riding the bench at Enron Field while rooting for Alou, Berkman, Hidalgo. As an added bonus, Daryle will wash owner's car and pick up his dry cleaning for a starting outfield position. Serious offers only. No assembly required.
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Wanna help your team's "mojo" rise? Mets fan says look no further for the assistance you need. Robin Ventura is an All-Star quality hitter and fielder that can help a contender fill a gaping hole at third base (are you listening, Mr. Gillick?). All we ask for in return is some young pitching, young hitting, young legs ... heck, just something young! Act now and you can also secure the whole left side of infield defensively as we can throw in Rey Ordonez ABSOLUTELY FREE! We also have a good selection of pitching available in both starter (Rick Reed, Al Leiter, Glendon Rusch) and relief models (Rick White). Time is running out, so don't delay! Call S.P. at 1-800-DEAL-A-MET and make your best offer. Crazy Stevie ... his players are INSANE!
MARLINS FAN Will trade young right-handed pitcher with amazing stuff and a center fielder with terrific speed. Matt Clement has been touted as one of the best young arms in the game, and Eric Owens has stolen more than 20 bases in the past two years. Looking for a slugging outfielder (the more power the better), only needs minimal fielding skills because outfield gets lonely when you have great rotation. Reply ASAP!
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