ANNOUNCER: Presenting this award are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Steven Seagal.
SEAGAL: What are we doing up here, Arnold?
SCHWARZENEGGER: Don't know what you mean.
SEAGAL: I mean, I'm 47 and you're 52, and we're still about as good as it gets in Hollywood when it comes to action heroes. How come some young stallion from the world of sports hasn't come into this town and taken our lunch money? I mean, a lot of those guys have name recognition, they're physical specimens, and lord knows they're familiar with guns. I read the papers.
SCHWARZENEGGER: Ya, but it isn't just enough to jump around on screen.
SEAGAL: Arnold, neither of us are Sir Laurence Olivier.
SCHWARZENEGGER: No, but you have to lend at least a little emotional depth to your character. And not mumble your lines.
SEAGAL: Ah, you saw "Double Team," with Dennis Rodman.
SCHWARZENEGGER: It troubled me, doubly.
SEAGAL: Well, then, let's toast our good fortune and hold out for some more. Looks like we might be the first action heroes to actually make it to retirement age. We'll be 75 and chasing down the bad guys -- in our walkers.
SCHWARZENEGGER: And the Oscar for best action hero by an athlete goes to ...
