ANNOUNCER: Presenting this award are baseball jokester Bob Uecker and football hypester Keyshawn Johnson.
UECKER: Keyshawn, I heard a director talking the other day and he was saying that one of the reasons that people like you and I get a little work here and there in Hollywood is that producers think we're fun to have around on the set. The days are long, the time between scenes terribly boring, so they figure that having someone from the world of sports around makes things more interesting for the rest of the crew.
JOHNSON: Tell me about it.
UECKER: That's right, I read where you walked off the set of Oliver Stone's "Any Given Sunday" because you got tired of sitting there for 10 or 11 hours and not being used.
JOHNSON: I left because my character was ill-defined.
UECKER: Yeah, that's what your agent said.
JOHNSON: What about you, Mr. Belvedere?
UECKER: Now that was a real role! Two tickets to TV's front row, you could say! Not bad for an old baseball hand. Sometimes seems like you gotta be young and seven feet tall to get any work these days.
JOHNSON: True. How many natural roles are there on TV and film for seven-foot basketball players? Not many, it would seem. But everywhere you look these days, there's some giant on screen. That's basketball's global appeal speaking, I guess. Damn NBA.
UECKER: Damn NBA.
JOHNSON: And the Oscar goes to ...
