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Rob Schneider

Page 2 staff

Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider lets the dog out in "The Animal."
Rob Schneider, who is starring in the new film "The Animal," is trying to make the biggest leap possible in entertainment -- going from being the poor man's Adam Sandler to having Adam Sandler be the poor man's Rob Schneider.

Page 2 admires this kind of ambition, so we honored it with 10 burning questions.

1. Page 2: What is the most attractive animal mascot?
Schneider: I don't know. But the ugliest would have to be the Philly Phanatic. I want to hit it with a stick. The Giants have an ugly one, too. It looks like a sewer rat and scares kids when it tries to pick them up. Actually, I don't know any attractive ones. But the Bucks mascot sure is an athlete, jumping around on a trampoline. Oh, the Phoenix Gorilla is cool. But I'm not attracted to it sexually.

Philly Phanatic
The Philly Phanatic should watch out if Schneider is nearby.
2. Who would win in a Regis Philbin/Anne Robinson matchup?
Schneider: Regis would tear her eyeballs out. I would pay big money and use all my celebrity connections to see that. Why Regis? He's been here a long time. Is he going to let some newcomer take him down? No way.

3. Which of your signature lines do people come to you and say more often, "Makin' Copies," or "You Can Do it"? And does that bother or flatter you?
Schneider: Definitely "You can do it." You know, it doesn't do either. I try not to put a value on it. It's just something that happens.

4. You do more than 50 celebrity impressions. Any of sports figures?
Rob Schneider
"The Animal" gave Schneider a chance to show off his athleticism.
Schneider: Not yet. I should do that, but it takes time to get a new voice down. And there aren't really any great voices in sports that are easy to copy and are that identifiable.

5. What sports did you play?
Schneider: Baseball, golf and tennis, which is probably my strongest sport. And table tennis. Also, I could give you a good run for your money in foosball. But I'm probably most appropriately built for pinball. I'm really well-suited for that, at my height.

6. How good an athlete are you?
Rick Fox
Rick Fox: Great guy, wrong team.
Schneider: Well, I'm a better athlete now than I was, but that doesn't help a lot. I give 110 percent though. And I'm very limber.

7. What teams do you root for?
Schneider: The San Francisco Giants. The 49ers. Every 25 years, I root for the Golden State Warriors. I'm from the Bay Area.

8. What teams do you root against?
Schneider: I hate L.A. teams. Individually, I like the Lakers -- Rick Fox is a great guy -- but I just can't get over the whole L.A. thing and how they have to win all the time.

8a. Are the Lakers going to sweep the finals?
Schneider: No. They'll lose one game. At least that's what I'm hoping for.

9. Will Barry Bonds break Mark McGwire's home run record this year?
Barry Bonds
Whether Barry Bonds hits 50 or 70 dingers, Schneider just wants more wins for the Giants.
Schneider: No. He'll get over 50 though. Actually, it's too early in the season to predict. Talk to me in July. But that was a gargantuan achievement of McGwire. Bonds is a great home run hitter, but to keep it up at a torrential pace would be tough. I'd like to see it, though. Especially if those homers mean that they win more games.

10. What would you rather have -- the speed of a cheetah, the intimidation of a lion, or the strength of an elephant?
Schneider: I'd want the laziness of a lion. The woman hunts for you, you eat first, and you look good just waking up in the morning. It looks like a good life.

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