Hey, A.C. Green, please don't send out a release on the next big event in your life.

What was A.C. Green thinking when he issued a press release saying he was about to marry?

A. What do you give the girl who has everything? A press release.

B. The renunciation of virginity is an important rite of passage in the life of a 38-year-old man.

C. He wanted to put an end to all the Jay Leno jokes.

D. Since his NBA record consecutive games streak ended with his retirement, he has too much time on his hands.

E. He wanted to show former teammate Magic Johnson the proper way to handle matters of a sexual nature.

F. Since the press release, which listed everything Green has done in the past 20 years, did not mention the name of his "fiancée," it's just another famous athlete signalling that his philosophy is: "It's all about me."