There's still a chance Gary Sheffield will become a Texas Ranger.

What were the Rangers thinking when they failed to acquire Gary Sheffield from the Dodgers?

A. Though it's a little late -- given their trades for Carl Everett and John Rocker -- they were concerned about the sanity of manager Jerry Narron.

B. They had a sneaking suspicion that Sheffield and Rocker might not get along.

C. They didn't even try because they know Sheffield's favorite song is "The Tomahawk Chop."

D. Sheffield still thought Jane Fonda was in town, so he was too determined to go to Atlanta.

E. They knew the Braves were planning on bringing in Sheffield's uncle, Doc Gooden, as pitching coach.

F. They have a secret deal in place to trade A-Rod for Sheffield and Chipper Jones, because no team can ever have too many $8 million-plus outfielders.