Leonid Tyagachev lodges a protest and jams to the Red Elvises.

What was Russian Olympic Committee president Leonid Tyagachev thinking when he threatened to pull out of the rest of the Salt Lake City Games?

A. He had heard that Barry Manilow was performing at the closing ceremonies, and the Russians didn't want their athletes to have to suffer through that on top of all the other indignities.

B. He was fed up that he couldn't get good borscht in Salt Lake City.

C. He was tired of seeing constant Miracle on Ice replays on TV.

D. "I can't believe we're trailing Austria, Norway and the USA in medals. Must think of something to avoid a demotion to the Siberian athletic commission."

E. "I still say Elena Berezhnaya is hotter than that Jamie Salé."

F. He and his countrymen are sick of U.S. cops arresting Olga Korbut.