What the heck was PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) thinking when it protested the sausage races at Milwaukee's Miller Park, asking for a vegetarian option (like a veggie dog or celery stick) to be included with the traditional hot dog, bratwurst and Polish and Italian sausages?

	Veggie burgers and tofu pups just can't run with these big dogs.

A. "We'd also like to change the lyrics of 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame' to read, 'Buy me some chick peas and eggplant now; I don't care if I ever eat cow.' "

B. "We just wish we could go back to a simpler, more pure time when all the Brewers name stood for was irresponsible binge drinking."

C. "It's all a part of our new 'I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Oversized Bratwurst Heads' campaign."

D. "We also found it offensive whenever Harry Caray said 'holy cow.' "

E. "It was either that, or ask Billy Brewer to slide into a giant vat of firm tofu after home runs, and how the heck will that advance our cause?"

F. "You think we're offended? You should have heard the folks from NOW until we gave them the exact details."