Phil Mickelson will be asked approximately 1,352 times this week about his failure to win a major.

What the heck is Phil Mickelson thinking as he faces the pressure of another Masters?

A. "Maybe I'll get lucky, and I'll be in Greg Norman's group."

B. "What did Amy mean when she said, 'Win this time or I'll go Tawny on your butt'?"

C. "Let's see those other guys play Augusta left-handed."

D. "Scoreboard, schmoreboard. It's the money leaders that matter, baby!"

E. "Now that they've made this course too hard for Tiger, this tournament's mine."

F. "Be the ball. Be the ball. Be the ball. Be the ball."