The Diesel is running on cheap gas right now.

What the heck was Shaquille O'Neal thinking when he recently criticized his Lakers teammates, after missing most of the early season and all of the preseason because he unnecessarily delayed getting an operation on his big toe?

A. "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Luckily, I live in a mansion."

B. "Let's see Phil smooth this out with some of that Zen crap."

C. "It's not that tough to play hard 48 minutes every night. Now practicing free throws, that's another story."

D. "Delaying the surgery was absolutely necessary. Otherwise, I would've missed out on filming three more Radio Shack commercials."

E. "It's pretty metaphoric really. Without me, the Lakers can't function. I'm like the big toe of the team. Matter of fact, from now on I'd like to be known as 'The Big Metatarsal.'"

F. "I'm curious how far I can push Mark Madsen's 'positive buttons' before the guy just snaps."