Not only was Bob Knight not suspended for that verbal beat down he laid on Texas Tech chancellor David smith Monday, he was on the bench against Baylor the next night. Hilarious. Of course, Tech rolled. And for the record, Smith isn't the chancellor at Texas Tech; Bob Knight is. Smith's just lucky Knight didn't reposition his face between the croutons and ranch dressing at that salad bar the way he did Neil Reed. Knight may have been circling the drain after getting run out of Indiana, but the General is alive and well and living in Lubbock.

Despite starring in a gay porn film, Cleveland Indians reliever Kaz Tadano insists he is not gay. Of course,voluntarily participating in gay porn isn't the best way to convince someone you're not gay. Don't get me wrong, personally I couldn't care less if he is or isn't. I only care if he can get guys out. But, as I've mentioned before, a major league clubhouse isn't exactly the last bastion of enlightenment. You know how that's going to go. I'm not gay,…weren't you in a gay porno? Yeah, but…but…but nothing. Look, this guy absolutely deserves a shot: we'll see if his peers give it to him.

When asked what he thought about Toyota fielding a team in the NASCAR truck series, Jimmy Spencer cracked, "Those sons of bitches bombed Pearl Harbor, don't forget. As long as it's good for the economy, I guess it's ok. But I hope that Ford, Chevrolet and Dodge kick ass." Thanks for that. Jimbo, I don't want to be the one to bring you into the 21st century kicking and screaming, but you do know that none of those guys on the Toyota team were actually flying the planes that bombed Pearl Harbor. Stick to physically assaulting other drivers and leave the political commentary to those who know what they're talking about.

Dr. J's back in the news. No, not for denying that he had a daughter or dropping a signed basketball on her instead of raising her. Better yet, he has a sex tape. Of course he does. Does that mean that spammers are going to inundate me with offers to buy the tape like they did with Paris Hilton? I couldn't walk past a computer without someone hitting me with a link to that video. I just hope this doesn't spawn a whole new genre of sex tapes. I mean, I don't want to see the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar sex tape. And I don't want to see the Larry Bird sex tape. Believe, I really don't need to see that. And neither does anyone else. Dr. J, what happened to you!?

It was this week in 1992 that Alex Trebek appeared as himself on the TV show The Golden Girls. Unfortunately, 12 years later, he's driving like one of those old hags. He recently fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into a row of mailboxes before jumping his rig into a ditch. I'll take game show hosts who are lucky to be alive for $1000, Alex. My man, shake yourself! What is, have a cup of coffee before getting behind the wheel? What are, rising insurance rates? He probably was consulting one of those little blue index cards with all the answers before making a turn. Ooooh. So sorry. Mix in some no-doze, Al.

It was this week in 1998 that school teacher Mary Kay Letourneau violated her probation by seeing the 14 year old father of her baby. Of course, MK Letourneau was sent to the hole for having sex with a student and eventually getting knocked up by said kid. Not to make light of this, but if she was willing to risk going back to the hole for some 14 year old kid, then he's the studliest 14 year old ever, she's just ill one or both. 14-year olds should be collecting baseball cards, not tapping their teachers.

Hard to believe, but it was only four years ago in 2000, when former Braves closer John Rocker had perhaps the mother of all meltdowns. In that famous interview with Sports Illustrated he got after basically everyone who wasn't a white male: gays, Asians, African-Americans, women, you name it, he slurred them. And no sooner than the mag hit the stands, he seemed to lose ten miles per hour off his heater and couldn't get anyone out. Atlanta sent him to Cleveland who sent him to Tampa, who then ran him. And once the D-rays are done with you, you know it's over. I'm sure he doesn't regret doing that interview very much.

Tiki Barber, Brian Kelly