A stalwart of MTV's long running "Rock 'n' Jock Basketball and Baseball" series, Bill Bellamy has seen everything, at least in terms of celebrity athletics.
He burst into the national consciousness as a standup comedian on Russell
Simmons "Def Comedy Jam." Successful stints on Showtime (with "Booty Call")
and MTV were followed by several movie roles, including his performance as
wide receiver Jimmy Sanderson in Oliver Stone's "Any Given Sunday." He's also the star of the WB's "Men, Women and Dogs."
Todd Gallagher caught up with Bellamy before a Los Angeles Clippers game to discuss booty
calls, catty celebrities and the worst player in the NBA. They were joined by
special guests Darius Miles, Matthew Lillard ("Summer Catch," "13 Ghosts"), Clippers assistant Dennis Johnson, and Quentin Richardson.
1. Page 2: You're known as the man who brought the phrase "booty call" to
national attention: Who are some of your most famous booty calls?
Bill Bellamy: That is not for public knowledge. If I had to tell you, you'd come up missing.
2. How easy is it to get a booty call for Bill Bellamy? How many do you have at your disposal?
Bellamy: Right now, it's really easy because I'm married. Any time of the day. It's all good.
3. We just interviewed Playboy's Miss December Shanna Moakler. When you
guys did "Love Stinks," did you pay her a booty call?
Bellamy: No, but I'm sure there's a lot of guys who would like to.
4. A critique of Snoop's hoop game?
Bellamy: It's a kamikaze of sorts. It's a combination of a lot of energy,
some dog-pound weed and a little bit of ESPN all mixed together. It's a
5. We saw Cedric Ceballos in the celebrity game, and from our seats he
looked like an overweight Ed Lover. Are some of these NBA guys not as good as
we think they are?
Bellamy: Ced was goin' to a lot of those Krispy Kreme parties they're havin'
out in Cali. Gettin' too much In and Out drive through. He'll get back in shape, but right now he's a little fluffy, big around the middle.
6. Who's the best celebrity hoopster in the history of "Rock 'n' Jock"?
Bellamy: The best NBA guy? Hands down, I'd have to say Gary Payton. One
year he had 150 points at halftime, switched teams and had 100 for the other.
Those 50 pointers can be real momentum changers.
Bellamy: Oh, yeah, he had it goin' on. The dude had 250 points.
7. The worst?
Bellamy: Coolio has to be the worst ever. He has no idea what he's doing out there. He knows nothing about the game and he plays all the time.
On some level you have to admire that.
Bellamy: Yeah, at least he's trying.
8. How about the worst pro? Who's stealing paychecks?
Bellamy: Who's the worst NBA guy? Who's terrible? (Laughs) Geez. Hey,
Darius, who's stealing paychecks?
Darius Miles: I don't know if anybody's stealing paychecks, but there's some
guys out there who shouldn't be where they are.
Matthew Lillard: How about DeSagana Diop?
Doesn't count. He hasn't even played yet.
Lillard: Exactly. What about Chris Mihm?
No way, he's a beast. You got one yet, Darius?
Darius: Shawn Bradley. He's better than some real bad guys, but he plays all the time and no one knows why.
Bellamy: Ahh, that's a good one. Shawn Bradley is doo-doo.
At least he blocks shots and rebounds. It's not his fault he looks goofy
Fan: Worst player in the league? What about Michael Jordan?
Bellamy: Oh, no, you didn't. You're goin' to hell for that one.
Miles: That's cold.
Fan: What about Paul Mokeski?
We're noticing a theme here.
Dennis Johnson: He's not even in the league anymore.
I guess that takes Greg Kite out of the picture too.
Johnson: I got one for you … Will Perdue.
Worse than Don Reid?
Johnson: Oh, hell, yeah. Plus you can put in there that we just cut him. Put in there the Clippers just cut him.
The unkindest cut of all.
Bellamy: That's for damn sure.
Lillard: What about Chris Dudley?
Bellamy: No, it's got to be Will Perdue. That's the one.
9. OK, Bill, what's your most embarrassing female shut down?
Bellamy: I can't answer that question, because I don't get done like that. It's never happened.
10. Would you rather be able to shoot like Larry, pass like Magic, or
dunk like Vince?
Bellamy: Gotta go with ... pass like Magic. I just loved the way he got
everybody involved, made the game exciting. That's what I try to do.
Todd Gallagher is a screenwriter and journalist, living in Los Angeles. He was the youngest coach and director of player personnel in the history of the USBL.