Kenyon Martin, I agree with you about your car

Mon, Apr 5
3:23
PM ET

In a haphazard attempt at getting some laughs, J.R. Smith's driver had Kenyon Martin's Range Rover -- with white interior -- filled with buttered popcorn as an April Fool's Day prank.

Kenyon Martin
AP Photo/David ZalubowskiKenyon Martin was right to be upset about that popcorn in his car.

Yeah, har-dee-har.

Only on a bike path could that pass for a joke.

Many have said Martin behaved childishly in his expletive-filled response.

I guarantee all of those people have bus passes, because everyone that's owned a car knows that it's sacred territory.It's the only thing most people have to their names.

You don't mess with it. Love is too weak to define what Prince felt on "Adore," but he sure did draw the line at his ride. You can play a joke with it, but the punchline needs to be as temporary as possible.

Styrofoam? Wouldn't be a big deal. Take the dustbuster to it, and Kenyon's gas guzzler would be good as new. Unbuttered popcorn? Roughly the same.

But if you so much as breathe on a man's car, you'd better make sure you can leave things as if you were never there.

Messy, greasy buttered popcorn on that soft, beautiful leather? That leaves lasting memories all over the place.

K-Mart is to be commended for simply threatening to go on strike. In slightly less civilized places, someone might have gotten struck.