Chris Hondros/Getty ImagesAll kidding aside, what will the next two weeks be like for non-New Yorkers?

As if Betty White looking cooler than Jay-Z on "Saturday Night Live" didn't make New York look bad enough, the city suffered its greatest indignity this weekend -- it got desperate.

This past weekend, New York publications took turns trying to sell LeBron James on playing for the Knicks. The Daily News gave LeBron a hard sell, even photographing cute children to boost the begging. New York Magazine reached so far to sell LeBron on the Big Apple that it listed Mike D'Antoni as a selling point, because losing in the playoffs must not hurt as much if your team scores 115 points.

The City That Never Sleeps has to sell itself? When did the Big Apple become Branson, Mo.?

The saddest part about these attempts to present New York as a desirable destination is that everyone knows that stuff already. Wherever New Yorkers have traveled, they have thoroughly explained to all of us who would listen why our city isn't New York. LeBron, like the rest of us, gets it.

But this is beneath you. This is begging. This is hilarious, but it isn't New York. Show some pride.

And get ready for the face of the Knicks' future -- Joe Johnson.