10. The longtime favorite pastime, tallying the total number of times team people say, "We're excited," has been spoiled. At somebody's last count, it had been said only 69 times through three days and nights. Time was, you'd get "We're excited" that many times in a single morning at Joe Gibbs Racing.
9. The good news is that drivers are more rested and relaxed talking to us after longer vacations because they haven't been testing at Daytona. The bad news is they don't have much to say, because they haven't been testing at Daytona.
8. What used to be a packed schedule for a purely NASCAR media tour has been a patchwork, with heavy encroachment by drag racing. My colleague Terry Blount, more of a drag racing aficionado than I am, said the NHRA is hurting economically, too -- there are only 17 fully funded Top Fuel teams -- and needs the promotional help.
I asked how the NHRA could be hurting when it takes only two cars to have a good race.
7. The bus rides have been entirely too orderly. Nobody has so much as sneaked a pint of whiskey on board. I haven't heard one good joke, let alone a good story. The only poker and craps games have been for play money (I'm serious). It is well that my peers of 20 years ago didn't have to live to see this.
6. I am sick to the gills of Speedway Motorsports Inc. chairman Bruton Smith and his cadre of headline-hunting lieutenants slinging outrageous comments on the wall, such as Smith's proposal to institute local TV blackouts anywhere a Cup race isn't sold out. Yeah, that'll fix NASCAR's economic crisis, all right.
5. Nobody had any barbecue this year. When Richard Childress Racing serves sushi, then you figure the apocalypse really is at hand.
4. While it's good to see so many colleagues back at the tour even as the newspaper industry collapses, the bad news is that some of them are here looking for jobs.
3. I wouldn't feel too old for this if they'd just cut out the night sessions and let us go drink like we used to.
2. I'm going to be seeing video presentations and hearing synthesizer music in my nightmares for the next two months. And they expect us to write about these electronic dog-and-pony shows?
1. NASCAR's presentation ends the tour this afternoon. It's usually highlighted by chairman Brian France and president Mike Helton vying to see who can sound more confusing than Casey Stengel reciting selections from James Joyce. Back when NASCAR was the first stop on the first day, it fatigued you for the rest of the tour. Now, after this one, I'm going to have to sleep for 18 hours straight -- assuming I can drag myself home.
Come to think of it, somebody call me an ambulance.
AP Photo/Rainier EhrhardtJustin Allgaier, the 2008 ARCA/ReMax series champion, will drive a full Nationwide schedule for Penske this season.