As I sat through the second episode of HBO's "Hard Knocks" on Wednesday night, I kept waiting for the signature moment.
Was it quarterback Mark Sanchez shamelessly haggling with a Pizza Hut employee to get 59-cent dipping sauces for free?
Head coach Rex Ryan arranging a fight between offensive lineman Rob Turner and defensive end Vernon Gholston?
Punter Steve Weatherford buying the team Shake Weights as a gag?
Rookie running back Joe McKnight looking totally lost?
Cornerback Antonio Cromartie carefully remembering the names and ages of each of his eight children?
None of them seemed worthy enough to write about. Then, after highlighting Monday night's 31-16 loss to the New York Giants in the exhibition opener, Ryan delivered his first postgame speech in their new Meadowlands locker room.
"All right, fellas. That was good news, bad news in that game, right?" Ryan said. "First half, totally outplayed them. Second half, they totally outplayed our ass.
"The thing I was disappointed in most is there's guys that we're counting on for backups. I never liked the intensity. Like, 'Where is it?' You've gotta be kidding me. One thing I know that I have to count on is the fact when you got that Jet decal on the side of your helmet you have to be a bad mother, don't ya? When you go out there, you take the field with that kind of mentality.
"The [starters], hell, we kicked their ass just like we said we would. But, man, the backups, the guys that are competing and things like that -- I'm especially talking to the defense -- that ain't good enough. Not here. Not for this team. That ain't good enough. You know it and I know it. That was an embarrassment.
"I know we got a great No. 1 team. I thought we had a better group of twos. That's [expletive], unacceptable. You make your damn mind up. You want to be a Jet or not? All right? Let's go."
Fade to black.